Daily Reflections
October 22
TRUE TOLERANCE
Finally, we begin to see that all people, including ourselves, are to some extent emotionally ill as well as frequently wrong, and then we approach true tolerance and see what real love for our fellows actually means.
-TWELVE STEPS AND TWELVE TRADITIONS, p. 92
The thought occurred to me that all people are emotionally ill to some extent. How could we not be? Who among us is spiritually perfect? Who among us is physically perfect? How could any of us be emotionally perfect? Therefore, what else are we to do but bear with one another and treat each other as we would be treated in similar circumstances? That is what love really is.
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Twenty-Four Hours A Day
October 22
A.A. Thought For The Day
I am content to face the rest of my life without alcohol. I have made the great decision once and for all. I have surrendered as gracefully as possible to the inevitable. I hope I have no more reservations. I hope that nothing can happen to me now that would justify my taking a drink. No death of a dear one. No great calamity in any area of my life should justify me in drinking. Even if I were on some desert isle, far from the rest of the world, but not far from God, should I ever feel it right to drink. For me, alcohol is out–period. I will always be safe unless I take that first drink. Am I fully resigned to this fact?
Meditation For The Day
Day by day we should slowly build up an unshakable faith in a Higher Power in that Power’s ability to give us all the help we need. By having these quiet times each morning, we start each day with a renewing of our faith, until it becomes almost a part of us and is a strong habit. We should keep furnishing the quiet places of our souls with all the furniture of faith. We should try to fill our thoughts each day with all that is harmonious and good, beautiful, and enduring.
Prayer For The Day
I pray that I may build a house in my soul for the spirit of God to dwell in. I pray that I may come at last to an unshakable faith.
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As Bill Sees It
October 22
Rebellion Or Acceptance, p.293
All of us pass through the times when we can pray only with the greatest exertion. Occasionally we go even further than this. We are seized with a rebellion so sickening that we simply won’t pray. When these things happen, we should not think too ill of ourselves. We should simply resume prayer as soon as we can, doing what we know to be good for us.
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A man who persists in prayer finds himself in possession of great gifts. When he has to deal with hard circumstances, he finds he can face them. He can accept himself and the world around him.
He can do this because he now accepts a God who is All–and who loves all. When he says, “Our Father who art in heaven, hallowed be Thy name,” he deeply and humbly means it. When in good meditation and thus freed from the clamors of the world, he knows that he’s in God’s hands, that his own ultimate destiny is really secure, here and hereafter, come what may.
1. TWELVE AND TWELVE, p. 105
2. GRAPEVINE, JUNE 1958
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Walk In Dry Places
October 22
When the bath is negative
Personal relations
A member referred to getting a “negative bath” every day at work. She was talking about her boss’s bad disposition and the poor attitudes of several co-workers. How does one deal with this negativity?
It’s not satisfactory to say that this member created her own “negative bath” by her attitudes toward her boss and others. In fact, in many businesses, the atmosphere is negative… and dealing with it takes more than trite comment.
In such situations, we can employ detachment, as practiced in Al-Anon, and accept the things we cannot change, as stated in the Serenity Prayer.
The longer-term solution may require making a major change, such as finding a new job, but we must be careful not to exchange one negative situation for another. We will make the right decision if we’re careful to avoid resentment and self-pity while being completely honest about our own motives and intentions.
I may find myself in a “negative bath” of some kind today, but I can detach from it by avoiding resentment or the tendency to blame others.
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Keep It Simple
October 22
Life is what happens to us while we’re making other plans.
-Thomas LaMance
What happened to our years of drinking and using other drugs? They seemed to pass so quickly with so little to show for them. We had plans, but we didn’t get where we wanted to go. There was always “tomorrow.”
What a difference today! Now we work a program that helps us really live each day. We’re not losing time out of our lives anymore. Now every day is full of life: sights, sounds, people, feelings—those things we used to miss out on. We have the help of a Higher Power who makes every day important.
Prayer for the Day: Higher Power, help me do Your will for me today. I place this day in Your care.
Action for the Day: Be on the lookout today for signs of life!
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Each Day a New Beginning
October 22
Children awaken you own sense of self when you see them hurting, struggling, testing; when you watch their eyes and listen to their hearts. Children are gifts, if we accept them.
-Kathleen Tierney Crilly
Children look to us and their world with fresh eyes, uncynical attitudes, open hearts. They react spontaneously to the events in their lives; what they feel is who they are.
Close observation of children can help us. See how complex we have made our lives! Their simple honesty can serve us well. To look at the world, once again, with wonder, is a byproduct offered us when we live the principles of this program.
So many gifts await us when we accept the program and its principles. We dispense with the baggage of the past. We learn to live this day only. And we come to believe that there is a power greater than ourselves that has everything and us in our lives under control. Children instinctively trust those who take care of them. We can learn to trust, once again, when we apply the Steps of this program to our lives.
I will look to this day with wonder and trust. Everything is okay. I am in the care of a power greater.
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Alcoholics Anonymous
October 22
THE PERPETUAL QUEST
– This lawyer tried psychiatrists. biofeedback, relaxation exercises, and a host of other techniques to control her drinking. She finally found a solution, uniquely tailored, in the Twelve Steps.
One day I was so hungover at lunchtime I called a friend and had a little cry. “I’ve tried everything and nothing works.” I said, reciting my litany of doctors and different therapies. I did not remember that thirteen years earlier, when I was twenty-one years old, I had attended a few meetings of Alcoholics Anonymous after waking up one morning not knowing where I was. I had just started law school and was terrified most of the time, so I went on a binge to quell the fear, which only got worse. I have no idea what made me go to A.A. way back then. But there were no young people at the meetings, and people kept marveling at how young and fresh I looked. (No one at A.A. said that when I came back thirteen tears later.)
pp. 392-393
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Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions
October 22
Tradition Three – “The only requirement for A.A. membership is a desire to stop drinking.”
How could we then guess that all those fears were to prove groundless? How could we know that thousands of these sometimes frightening people were to make astonishing recoveries and become our greatest workers and intimate friends? Was it credible that A.A. was to have a divorce rate far lower than average? Could we then foresee that troublesome people were to become our principle teachers of patience and tolerance? Could any then imagine a society which would include every conceivable kind of character, and cut across every barrier of race, creed, politics, and language with ease?
pp. 140-141
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Xtra Thoughts
October 22
With the power of God in my actions and thinking I can do all things with love and kindness.
-Shelley
“God Loves You – even when you are not looking.”
He created me to be a light of love and life. Letting go, I allow the light of Him within me to shine forth in my life and out into my world.
-unknown
Express love through acknowledgment. Notice the good in those around you and freely comment on it.
-Mary Manin Morrissey
The value of persistent prayer is not that He will hear us, but we will finally hear Him.
-William McGill
We are not living just to be sober; we are living to learn, to serve, and to love.
-unknown
The express elevator to sobriety doesn’t work – please use the Steps.
-unknown
S T E P S = Solutions To Every Problem in Sobriety.
-unknown
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Father Leo’s Daily Meditation
October 22
UNITY
“This land of ours cannot be a good place for any of us to live in unless we make it a good place for all of us to live in.”
-Richard Nixon
My sobriety has given me a comprehensive view of life and my neighbor. Today I believe that we are all connected and if I hurt or am hurt, then everybody at some level is affected. Because we are all children of God, it follows that we are all one big family — speaking different languages, having different customs, revealing different physical characteristics and complexions, requiring different satisfaction (both sexual and emotional), but we are still one big family under God.
This means I have a responsibility to all in the family and I can best exercise that responsibility by having a healthy respect for myself. I should treat people as I would want to be treated, allowing them the freedom and love I require in my life. I am the key to the world’s needs.
Lord, let me find my neighbor in myself.
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Bible Scriptures
October 22
“Just as it is bearing fruit and growing in the whole world, so it has been bearing fruit among yourselves from the day you heard it and truly comprehended the grace of God.”
-Colossians 1:6
“You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart, with all your soul, and with all your strength.”
-Deuteronomy 6:5
For your kingdom is an everlasting kingdom. You rule generation after generation. The LORD is faithful in all he says; he is gracious in all he does. The LORD helps the fallen and lifts up those bent beneath their loads. All eyes look to you for help; you give them their food as they need it. When you open your hand, you satisfy the hunger and thirst of every living thing.
-Psalm 145:13-16
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Daily Inspiration
October 22
Do not take any action until you’ve prayed and listened and then you will have guidance to reach the understanding necessary to complete the things you need to do. Lord, I know that there is no obstacle for You and ask that You will guide me along the right path.
Rejoice and be happy for others when they are blessed. Lord, bless me with the ability to be free of envy so that I can truly share the joy of my neighbors.
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A Day At A Time
October 22
Reflection For The Day
“not all those who know their minds know their hearts as well,” wrote La Rochefoucauld. The Program is of inestimable value for those of us, formerly addicted, who want to know ourselves and who are courageous enough to seek growth through self-examination and self-improvement. If I remain honest, open-minded and willing, The Program will enable me to rid myself of my self-deceptive attitudes and character flaws that for so long prevented me from growing into the kind of person I want to be. Do I try to help others understand The Program and Twelve Steps? Do I carry the message by example?
Today I Pray
I ask God’s blessing for the group, which has shown me so much about myself that I was not swilling to face on my own. May I have the courage to be confronted and to confront, not only to be honest for honesty’s sake — which may be reason enough — but to allow myself and the others in the group to grow in self-knowledge.
Today I Will Remember
We are mirrors of each other.
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One More Day
October 22
This is the bitterest knowledge among men, to have much knowledge but no power.
-Herodotus
We have the power to influence others’ lives only when we share what we have learned. If we fail to or refuse to recognize the value of our knowledge, we force ourselves into a sort of isolation and — worse still — deprive others of our insights.
We know how to handle intricate personal relationships and delicate problems. We have gained the emotional stability to allow ourselves to depend on others and on our Higher Power. We can share this knowledge with others, not to serve our own needs, but to help our fellow human beings.
A loving power is mine when I gently share the knowledge I have with others.
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One Day At A Time
October 22
Scars
“Dwelling on the negative simply contributes to its power.”
-Shirley MacLaine
I’ve lived most of my life filled with bitterness towards people, God and myself. My mind, soul, and body were consumed by hatred, self-pity, pain, hopelessness, and a complete sense of powerlessness. I focused my energy on reviewing my scars. I counted them, checked them, nurtured them, and flaunted them. They were proof of all the wrongs I’d endured. They were my source of energy. They were my identity. They were my badge of sorrow.
As I work my recovery, I am beginning to see everything from a new perspective. Gradually my head is lifted and my eyes are turned away from my once-beloved scars. The more I allow myself to accept that my powerlessness is not a prison of doom, the more I discover that it is my doorway to faith, surrender, and serenity.
My scars are still here. There is no magic potion to remove them. What is magical, however, is that I see them so differently. I find that I have a choice to make every day: I can cherish my scars as proof of the pain I have suffered, or I can be thankful for them as evidence of things I have survived. Scar tissue forms and creates a stronger, thicker skin in its place. I can either pick at it and make it bleed, or I can welcome the lessons and endurance it has built into my life.
One day at a time …
I will choose to see my scars as proof of the difficulties I have survived. I will choose to appreciate them as evidence that God has brought me through suffering and has used all things to strengthen my faith in Him, my hope for tomorrow, and my serenity for today.
~ Lisa
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Today’s Gift
October 22
Sometimes it takes a rainy day just to let you know, everything’s gonna be alright.
—Cris Williamson
Rainy days let us slow down. We are busy people, driving ourselves to go places and get things done. But rain seems to slow life down, even in our hearts. And slowing down can show us the peace in our lives, the peace of knowing we have all we need right inside us. The pressures of the world can drop away for a time while we reflect.
As the rain soaks into the ground, its serenity enters our hearts. Leaves on trees begin to look more green. Plants and flowers are no longer thirsty. When we slow down, we can be comforted by what we have in our hearts, knowing everything is going to be all right.
What comfort can I find within myself right now?
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The Language Of Letting Go
October 22
Holding Your Own
Trust yourself. Trust what you know.
Sometimes, it is hard to stand in our own truth and trust what we know, especially when others would try to convince us otherwise.
In these cases, others may be dealing with issues of guilt and shame. They may have their own agenda. They may be immersed in denial. They would like us to believe that we do not know what we know; they would like us not to trust ourselves; they would prefer to engage us in their nonsense.
We don’t have to forfeit our truth or our power to others. That is codependency.
Believing lies is dangerous. When we stop trusting our truth, when we repress our instincts, when we tell ourselves there must be something wrong with us for feeling what we feel or believing what we believe, we deal a deadly blow to our self and our health.
When we discount that important part of ourselves that knows what is the truth, we cut ourselves off from our center. We feel crazy. We get into shame, fear, and confusion. We can’t get our bearings when we allow someone to pull the rug from under us.
This does not mean that we are never wrong. But we are not always wrong.
Be open. Stand in our truth. Trust what you know. And refuse to buy into denial, nonsense, bullying, or coercion that would like to take you off course.
Ask to be shown the truth, clearly – not by the person trying to manipulate or convince you, but by yourself, your Higher Power, and the Universe.
Today, I will trust my truth, my instincts, and my ability to ground myself in reality. I will not allow myself to be swayed by bullying, manipulating, games, dishonesty, or people with peculiar agendas.
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More Language Of Letting Go
October 22
Be aware of your heroes
Heroes and mentors can inspire and teach us to do great things with our lives. They can help point us in the right direction when we’re unsure. They can bring us just the right message, at just the right time. Usually we can find someone who has walked the path before us, and can lead us with his or her example. The problem comes when he or she stops being a mentor to us and becomes an idol instead. If we spent too much time revering an individual, we can easily lose sight of the message.
Take a look at the people in your life that you have chosen as mentors, heroes, sponsors, or teachers. Appreciate all the help they give you. But be aware that they don’t and can’t have all the answers. They’re human,too. They too have blind spots, prejudices, and their own lessons to go through. And yes, they’ll make mistakes. But if their hearts are true, they’ll come back to the path. And if your heart is true, maybe you’ll be a light helping guide them there.
Listen to your mentors. Respect them for who they are. Be grateful for the inspiration and messages that come through them to you. But don’t worship your heroes.
Learn to think for yourself as well.
God, help me remember that it’s the message, not the messenger, that counts. Thank you for my heroes, teachers, and mentors, but help me remember not to lift them up too high.
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Touchstones Meditation For Men
October 22
Self-righteousness is a loud din raised to drown the voice of guilt within us.
—Eric Hoffer
A holier-than-thou attitude within us is often a sign of unconscious dishonesty. Who hasn’t had the feeling of being superior to the angry outburst or the near slip of another man – and then found himself in the very same spot the next day? What we least want to admit about ourselves is what we are most likely to feel self-righteous about.
Since our blind spots and self-deception leave us vulnerable to returning to old behaviors, we must attack them vigorously. The man we feel most self-righteous toward may be the man we could learn the most from. When we stop focusing on him, we may notice he touches our most sensitive area. We’re all creatures of God and equals in God’s sight. The ways we create inequality are the ways we fall short of God’s wisdom.
I will use my self-righteous feelings to point me to my own blind spots.
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Daily TAO
October 22
SOLUTIONS
Don’t be afraid to explore;
Without exploration there are no discoveries.
Don’t be afraid of partial solutions;
Without the tentative there is no accomplishment.
Indecision and procrastination are corrosive habits. Those who wait for every little thing to be perfect before they embark on a project or who dislike the compromise of a partial solution are among the least happy. Ideal circumstances are seldom given to anyone for an undertaking. Instead there is uncertainty in every situation. The wise are those who can wrest great advantage from circumstances opaque to everyone else.
Wanting everything in life to be perfect before you take action is like wanting to reach a destination without travel. For those who follow Tao, travel is every bit as important as the destination. One step after another : That is still central to the wisdom of Tao.
Every day passes whether you participate or not. If you are not careful, years will go by and you will only have regrets. If you cannot solve a problem all at once, at least make a stab at it. Reduce your problems into smaller, more manageable packages, and you can make measurable progress toward achievement. If you wait for everything to be perfect according to your preconceived plans, then you may well wait forever. If you go out and work with the current of life, you may find that success comes from building upon small things.