Daily Reflections
August 13
A CLEAN SWEEP
… and third, having thus cleaned away the debris of the past, we consider how, with our newfound knowledge of ourselves, we may develop the best possible relations with every human being we know.
TWELVE STEPS AND TWELVE TRADITIONS , p. 77
As I face the Eighth Step, everything that was required for successful completion of the previous seven Steps came together: courage, honesty, sincerity, willingness and thoroughness. I could not muster the strength required for this task at the beginning, which is why this Step reads “Became willing … ”
I needed to develop the courage to begin, the honesty to see where I was wrong, a sincere desire to set things right, thoroughness in making a list, and willingness to take the risk required for true humility. With the help of my Higher Power in developing these virtues, I completed this Step and continued to move forward in my quest for spiritual growth.
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Twenty-Four Hours A Day
August 13
A.A. Thought For The Day
“We had but two alternatives; one was to go on to the bitter end, blotting out the consciousness of our intolerable situation as best we could, and the other was to accept spiritual help. We became willing to maintain a certain simple attitude toward life. What seemed at first a flimsy reed has proved to be the loving and powerful hand of God. A new life has been given us, a design for living that really works. All of us establish in our own individual way our personal relationship with God.” Have I established my own relationship with God?
Meditation For The Day
Make it a daily practice to review your character. Take your character in relation to your daily life, to your dear ones, your friends, your acquaintances, and your work. Each day try to see where God wants you to change. Plan how best each fault can be eradicated or each mistake be corrected. Never be satisfied with a comparison with those around you. Strive toward a better life as your ultimate goal. God is your helper through weakness to power, through danger to security, through fear and worry to peace and serenity.
Prayer For The Day
I pray that I may make real progress toward a better life. I pray that I may never be satisfied with my present state.
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As Bill Sees It
August 13
The Answer in the Mirror, p. 225
While drinking, we were certain that our intelligence, backed by will power, could rightly control our inner lives and guarantee us success in the world around us. This brave philosophy, wherein each man played God, sounded good in the speaking, but it still had to meet the acid test: How well did it actually work? One good look in the mirror was answer enough.
********************************
My spiritual awakening was electrically sudden and absolutely convincing. At once I became a part–if only a tiny part–of a cosmos that was ruled by justice and love in the person of God. No matter what had been the consequences of my own willfulness and ignorance, or those of my fellow travelers on earth, this was still the truth. Such was the new and positive assurance, and this has never left me.
1. 12 & 12, p. 37
2. Grapevine, January 1962
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Walk In Dry Places
August 13
Blaming others
Common sense
Action NO matter what happens, some people insist that a culprit must be found when things go awry. Someone must be blamed for every wrong or catastrophe. We must be careful not to buy into this practice in three ways:
FIRST, we must avoid being help responsible for problems we didn’t cause.
SECOND, we must also avoid any personal guilt for such problems.
THIRD, we must not fall into the trap of unfairly blaming other people.
The best use of energy we spend hunting down culprits is to fix what’s within our powers, to have the courage to change the things (we) can. Then we will have done what we can to reduce the number of problems in the world while putting our own talents and energies to their best uses.
I’ll keep some balance today if I hear anybody blaming others for the world’s woes. We’ll probably fix most problems one day at a time, and I’ll do the best I can with those problems I know something about.
*******************************************
Father Leo’s Daily Meditation
August 13
REALITY
“Humankind cannot bear very much reality.”
– T. S. Eliot
I wonder why we find it hard to face reality? I preferred to escape from my problems, avoid who I was, not deal with issues of God, relationships or loneliness — and live in a world of “make believe”. However, it did not work. The pain of being a “fake” and living a lie became too great so I asked for help.
Today I am on a journey towards reality and it is a spiritual journey. I know I will never be completely real. A part of me will always be “diseased”. I must live and treat my compulsive behavior on a daily basis — but my life is getting better, and I am slowly growing in an understanding of who I am and what I need.
God, let me be as real as I can be.
*******************************************
Xtra Thoughts
August 13
“Let go of your attachment to being right, and suddenly your mind is more open. You’re able to benefit from the unique viewpoints of others, without being crippled by your own judgment.”
–Ralph Marston
“Once you face your fear, nothing is ever as hard as you think.”
–Olivia Newton-John
A clean conscience makes a soft pillow.
–unknown
A lot of kneeling will keep you in good standing.
–unknown
All I have to do is make the right choices. I will always know which
they are, when I ask for guidance.
–unknown
I will look to each moment with child-like eyes. I’ll find joy and contentment.
–unknown
Adventure is not outside a man; it is within.
–David Grayson
*******************************************
Alcoholics Anonymous
August 13
The Man Who Mastered Fear
He spent eighteen years in running away, and then found he didn’t have to run. So he started A.A. in Detroit.
Spring came. I went for first walk. Half a block from the house. I tried to turn the corner. Fear froze me in my tracks, but the instant I turned back toward home, this paralyzing fear left me. This was the beginning of an unending series of such experiences. I told our family doctor—an understanding man who gave hours of his time trying to help me—about this experience. He told me that it was imperative that I walk around the entire block, cost me what it might in mental agony. I carried out his instructions. When I reached a point directly back of our house, where I could have cut through a friend’s garden, I was almost over powered by the desire to get home, but I made the whole journey. Probably only a few readers of this story will be able, from personal experiences of their own, to understand the exhilaration and sense of accomplishment I felt after finishing this seemingly assignment.
*******************************************
Daily Reflections
August 13
A CLEAN SWEEP
. . . . and third, having thus cleaned away the debris of the past, we consider how, with our newfound knowledge of ourselves, we may develop the best possible relations with every human being we know.
TWELVE STEPS AND TWELVE TRADITIONS , p. 77
As I face the Eighth Step, everything that was required for successful completion of the previous seven Steps came together: courage, honesty, sincerity, willingness and thoroughness. I could not muster the strength required for this task at the beginning, which is why this Step reads “Became willing.”
I needed to develop the courage to begin, the honesty to see where I was wrong, a sincere desire to set things right, thoroughness in making a list, and willingness to take the risk required for true humility. With the help of my Higher Power in developing these virtues, I completed this Step and continued to move forward in my quest for spiritual growth.
*******************************************
Twenty-Four Hours A Day
August 13
A.A. Thought For The Day
“We had but two alternatives; one was to go on to the bitter end, blotting out the consciousness of our intolerable situation as best we could, and the other was to accept spiritual help. We became willing to maintain a certain simple attitude toward life. What seemed at first a flimsy reed has proved to be the loving and powerful hand of God. A new life has been given us, a design for living that really works. All of us establish in our own individual way our personal relationship with God.” Have I established my own relationship with God?
Meditation For The Day
Make it a daily practice to review your character. Take your character in relation to your daily life, to your dear ones, your friends, your acquaintances, and your work. Each day try to see where God wants you to change. Plan how best each fault can be eradicated or each mistake be corrected. Never be satisfied with a comparison with those around you. Strive toward a better life as your ultimate goal. God is your helper through weakness to power, through danger to security, through fear and worry to peace and serenity.
Prayer For The Day
I pray that I may make real progress toward a better life. I pray that I may never be satisfied with my present state.
*******************************************
As Bill Sees It
August 13
The Answer in the Mirror, p. 225
While drinking, we were certain that our intelligence, backed by will power, could rightly control our inner lives and guarantee us success in the world around us. This brave philosophy, wherein each man played God, sounded good in the speaking, but it still had to meet the acid test: How well did it actually work? One good look in the mirror was answer enough.
********************************
My spiritual awakening was electrically sudden and absolutely convincing. At once I became a part–if only a tiny part–of a cosmos that was ruled by justice and love in the person of God. No matter what had been the consequences of my own willfulness and ignorance, or those of my fellow travelers on earth, this was still the truth. Such was the new and positive assurance, and this has never left me.
1. 12 & 12, p. 37
2. Grapevine, January 1962
*******************************************
Walk In Dry Places
August 13
Blaming others
Common sense
Action NO matter what happens, some people insist that a culprit must be found when things go awry. Someone must be blamed for every wrong or catastrophe. We must be careful not to buy into this practice in three ways:
FIRST, we must avoid being help responsible for problems we didn’t cause.
SECOND, we must also avoid any personal guilt for such problems.
THIRD, we must not fall into the trap of unfairly blaming other people.
The best use of energy we spend hunting down culprits is to fix what’s within our powers, to have the courage to change the things (we) can. Then we will have done what we can to reduce the number of problems in the world while putting our own talents and energies to their best uses.
I’ll keep some balance today if I hear anybody blaming others for the world’s woes. We’ll probably fix most problems one day at a time, and I’ll do the best I can with those problems I know something about.
*******************************************
Father Leo’s Daily Meditation
August 13
REALITY
“Humankind cannot bear very much reality.”
– T. S. Eliot
I wonder why we find it hard to face reality? I preferred to escape from my problems, avoid who I was, not deal with issues of God, relationships or loneliness — and live in a world of “make believe”. However, it did not work. The pain of being a “fake” and living a lie became too great so I asked for help.
Today I am on a journey towards reality and it is a spiritual journey. I know I will never be completely real. A part of me will always be “diseased”. I must live and treat my compulsive behavior on a daily basis — but my life is getting better, and I am slowly growing in an understanding of who I am and what I need.
God, let me be as real as I can be.
*******************************************
Xtra Thoughts
August 13
“Let go of your attachment to being right, and suddenly your mind is more open. You’re able to benefit from the unique viewpoints of others, without being crippled by your own judgment.”
–Ralph Marston
“Once you face your fear, nothing is ever as hard as you think.”
–Olivia Newton-John
A clean conscience makes a soft pillow.
–unknown
A lot of kneeling will keep you in good standing.
–unknown
All I have to do is make the right choices. I will always know which
they are, when I ask for guidance.
–unknown
I will look to each moment with child-like eyes. I’ll find joy and contentment.
–unknown
Adventure is not outside a man; it is within.
–David Grayson
*******************************************
Alcoholics Anonymous
August 13
The Man Who Mastered Fear
He spent eighteen years in running away, and then found he didn’t have to run. So he started A.A. in Detroit.
Spring came. I went for first walk. Half a block from the house. I tried to turn the corner. Fear froze me in my tracks, but the instant I turned back toward home, this paralyzing fear left me. This was the beginning of an unending series of such experiences. I told our family doctor—an understanding man who gave hours of his time trying to help me—about this experience. He told me that it was imperative that I walk around the entire block, cost me what it might in mental agony. I carried out his instructions. When I reached a point directly back of our house, where I could have cut through a friend’s garden, I was almost over powered by the desire to get home, but I made the whole journey. Probably only a few readers of this story will be able, from personal experiences of their own, to understand the exhilaration and sense of accomplishment I felt after finishing this seemingly assignment.
p. 247
*******************************************
Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions
August 13, 20113
Step Twelve – “Having had a spiritual awakening as the result of these steps, we tried to carry this message to alcoholics, and to practice these principles in all our affairs.”
Most married folks in A.A. have very happy homes. To a surprising extent, A.A. has offset the damage to family life brought about by years of alcoholism. But just like all other societies, we do have sex and marital problems, and sometimes they are distressingly acute. Permanent marriage breakups and separations, however, are unusual in A.A. Our main problem is not how we are to stay married; it is how to be more happily married by eliminating the severe emotional twists that have so often stemmed from alcoholism.
p. 117
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Bible Scriptures
August 13
Finally, be strong in the Lord and in his mighty power. Put on the full armor of God so that you can take your stand against the devil’s schemes. For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms. Therefore put on the full armor of God, so that when the day of evil comes, you may be able to stand your ground, and after you have done everything, to stand. Stand firm then, with the belt of truth buckled around your waist, with the breastplate of righteousness in place, and with your feet fitted with the readiness that comes from the gospel of peace. In addition to all this, take up the shield of faith, with which you can extinguish all the flaming arrows of the evil one. Take the helmet of salvation and the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God. And pray in the Spirit on all occasions with all kinds of prayers and requests.
-Ephesians 6:10-18
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Daily Inspiration
August 13
As you wake, remember that God is the first one waiting to talk with you. Good morning, Lord. Let’s have a grand and wonderful day.
Our time here is short and there is still so much to be done. Lord, please let me do a little more for You today so that the world may be a little better because of me.
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One More Day
August 13
If you allow men to use you for your own purpose, they will use your for theirs.
– Aesop
When we attend a party, isn’t it always the person with the cast or someone who just had surgery who gets all the attention? At first, when our health changes, we may try to play other people for sympathy.
We finally begin to understand that most of us have different needs. Ours are more permanent than the needs of a person with a broken leg. Upon realizing this, we could become angry that our needs aren’t being anticipated. After being ill for a while, we realize it’s up to us to let others know what we are feeling and what our needs are. Then we can look for understanding, not pity.
Exploiting the role of “sick person” is one behavior I need to guard against. I will accept this as a personal challenge.
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One Day At A Time
August 13, 2011
JOY
“Joy is not in things, it is in us.”
–Richard Wagner
Growing up in a household of people in need of recovery, one of the things I learned early on is that things can bring happiness. None of us realized that the happiness was very temporary, never seeing us through what feeling we were wanting to stuff or what hurt hole deep inside us needed filling. I had so many feelings and so many holes inside me that I didn’t have near enough money for the things I needed. What hurting 7-year old in a sick family does?
Given that, it seems natural that I turned to food to help fill holes. Just another “thing,” but at least the fridge was always too full, and I didn’t have to worry about the money aspect.
But things caused pain too. I learned that my parents gave more expensive and better things to those people they liked more and wanted to please. I was not one of those people; my brother was. I noted every gift and compared, and set myself up for more hurt that could only be soothed in the kitchen because I didn’t know any other way.
The food “things” I ran to have caused less joy in my life than any of the things I’ve bought. I’ve been fat since I was four, torturing my body over the years by alternating starvation with massive bingeing and with purging. I was never good enough because I’ve never been thin enough except for that growth spurt when I was nine.
Then I found the Twelve Steps. As a result of working the Steps, I’ve found me. As a result of finding me and learning to fill hurtful holes by feeling rather than with things or food, I’ve truly found the joy that is in me.
One Day at a Time …
I will remind myself that things and food do not bring happiness; joy is within.
~ Rhonda H.
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Why Do We Change?
“We generally change ourselves for one of two reasons: inspiration or desperation.”
–Jim Rohn
Change only happens when we are ready for something different. Usually and almost all of the time it happens when we get sick of things going a certain way, we are tired of things happening the way that they are and we are looking for something different.
Change also happens when we see something in someone else that we like or admire. We may see how they handle certain situations, how they react, how they smile or even there demeanor. Whatever it is that they have we have to have it. When that happens we feel that we must have what they have.
Once we feel that we want to Change, the process is not that difficult. Change can only happen when you are ready for change, until than it will be nothing but vain attempts to be someone you really don’t want to be.
Today: Let me give myself the permission to be the person that I admire and the desperation to want to Change.
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Journey To The Heart
August 13
Come Back to Center
Come back to center, that place in you that is still, calm, quiet, and connected.
Your center is a place you can trust. It connects the body, mind, heart, and soul. It connects truth, your inner voice, and the Divine. Your best work comes from there. Your most loving times come from there. Your insights, awareness, and guidance come from being there, at that place. Your best decisions, and finest moments come from that place.
Your center is a place that is quietly confident, unassuming, spontaneous, and free. It is gentle and kind, but it has the power to defend instinctively against attack.
Your center is a place that is naturally joyful and at peace. It is accepting, non-judgemental, and it channels the voice of your heart. It knows perfect timing. It knows the rhythm of the universe, the rhythm of all creation, and it delights in its connection to that rhythm.
If you must leave your center to learn a lesson, feel a feeling, or experience something new, do that. Take all the side trips you are called to. But come back to your center when you’re done.
And go to your center first, before you go anywhere else.
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Elder’s Meditation of the Day
August 13
“A bit of sunshine, a drop of rain, a puff of life from the Great Spirit as He gently breathed upon that spot, created the Native Americans. They were well formed and agile, copper colored and proud.
–Harriet Starleaf Gumbs, SHINNECOCK
We are made in the image of the Great Spirit. A long time ago He breathed life into our ancestors. He made the Indian strong. He created a Warrior. Our ancestors created more warriors. We have been tested throughout the seasons and we are still here, stronger than ever. It is good to be Indian. We are proud of ourselves and our ancestors. Mostly we are proud the Great Spirit has never forsaken us, and continues to guide us.
My Creator, let me live my life today in a way that would make my ancestors proud. Let me remember each month that I am here to serve You. Today let me conduct my life in a way that also would make You proud.
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Today’s Gift
August 13
Many of our fears are tissue-paper-thin, and a single courageous step would carry us clear through them.
—Brendan Francis
There was a huge slide at the park and Jason was afraid to go on it. There were so many steps to climb to reach the top. All of his friends were climbing up the steps and yelling as they came down the long rolling slide.
“Come on,” said his friend Steve. “It’s lots of fun!”
“Isn’t it scary?” asked Jason.
“A little bit,” answered Steve, “but you get used to it.” He ran off to go again.
Jason walked to the steps of the slide, his heart pounding in his chest. Slowly he placed his foot on the first step and lifted himself up. Courageously he climbed the ladder. When he reached the high platform he felt as if he were standing on top of the world.
We can learn from Jason that by taking that first step we can experience many exciting and wonderful things. We have all done it before, on the slide, on a bicycle, in school. Why not again?
What fear can I walk through today?
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The Language of Letting Go
August 13
Friends
Don’t overlook the value of friendship. Don’t neglect friends.
Friends are a joy. Adult friendships can be a good place for us to learn to have fun and to appreciate how much fun we can have with a friend.
Friends can be a comfort. Who knows us better, or is more able to give us support, than a good friend? A friendship is a comfortable place to be ourselves. Often, our choice of friends will reflect the issue we’re working on. Giving and receiving support will help both people grow.
Some friendships wax and wane, going through cycles throughout the years. Some trail off when one person outgrows the other. Certainly, we will have trials and tests in friendships and, at times, be called on to practice our recovery behaviors.
But some friendships will last a lifetime. There are special love relationships, and there are friendships. Sometimes, our friendships – especially recovery friendships – can be special love relationships too.
Today, I will reach out to a friend. I will let myself enjoy the comfort, joys, and enduring quality of my friendships.
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More Language Of Letting Go
August 13
Thanks for the lessons
People say everything happens for a reason and God has a Plan for it all. I believe things do happen for a reason. And I believe in God’s Plan. But if we don’t learn the lesson from the circumstance and let ourselves completely heal from it– whether it’s the past or today– the things that happen for a reason will just keep happening over and over again.
–Playing It by Heart
“I learned something today,” a woman said to me. “Before I can completely let go of anything or anyone, I need to thank the person and the experience for what it taught me.”
Sometimes, the last thin cord binding us to that person or experience, that part of our lives that we’re trying so valiantly to be free from, can be effectively snipped with the shears of gratitude.
Are you hanging on to a resentment for that ex or a friend from days long past? Are you still harboring bitterness about a job or business deal gone bad? Are you holding on to a part of your life that was painful with bitterness and resentment? Are you holding on to a particularly good time or cycle you had with someone, afraid that if things change and you let the past go and come into now, things won’t be quite as good?
Maybe you needed that relationship to teach you about a part of yourself. Maybe you learned compassion or more about what you wanted from life. Maybe that friend, even though he or she isn’t in your life anymore, helped you open up a part of yourself that was shut down and needed to be activated and set free. What about those painful experiences? You learned something, probably a lot, from them,too. And that experience that was so fulfilling? That, too, needs to be let go of if we’re going to open our hearts to the new.
Apply a dose of gratitude. Thank the experience for being in your life. Thank that ex, or that friend, or that business, or that boss. Thank them over and over again in your mind. Deliberately sit down and figure out what the lessons and gifts were. If you can’t see them, ask to be shown.
Move a step closer to letting go and becoming free by being grateful for how that person or experience enriched your life.
God, thank you for the past. Help me let go with gratitude, so that I can live more fully and joyfully now.
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Touchstones Meditations For Men
August 13
There is overwhelming evidence that the higher the level of self-esteem, the more likely one will treat others with respect, kindness, and generosity. People who do not experience self-love have little or no capacity to love others.
—Nathaniel Branden
We cannot hang on to feelings of shame and guilt and still hope to become better people. How did these feelings begin? If we were treated badly by people, we need to be honest about what happened so we can resolve it and move on. Have we perpetuated our feelings by acting disrespectfully ourselves? Then we need to take a thorough inventory of our wrongdoings, admit them, make repairs, and let them go.
We may wallow in shame because facing it feels too frightening. Often, we believe our shame is greater than that of others. This belief is usually untrue and grandiose. It’s part of how we isolate ourselves. We don’t have to face it alone. We have the help of other men and women who can listen to our pain and tell us about their experiences.
Today, may I find the courage to face my shame and assert my right to self-esteem.
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Daily TAO
August 13
Prejudice
No mother thinks her child ugly.
No one is indifferent to themselves.
We are all familiar with prejudice. It comes in many forms: nationalism, chauvinism, provincialism, racism. Many of us undoubtedly cry out against these injustices. As long as there is prejudice, we declare, we are never able to fairly know one another.
And yet, it is exactly a type of prejudice that also keeps us from knowing ourselves. If we think about it, we ourselves are the ones we most favor. We cater to all our bodily needs, our sensual indulgences, our intellectual curiosities, and our lustful ambitions. When we are sick or disadvantaged, no one feels our pain more or wails more loudly. When we are satisfied, no one rejoices with greater satisfaction. When we are on the verge of death, no one clings with such vehemence.
As long as we are slaves to our appetites, then we cannot have the attention for spirituality. As long as we value comfort over effort, then we shall never have the fortitude for a spiritual quest. As long as we adhere to intellectual ideas over experience, then we can never have a genuine perception of Tao. As long as we insist we are separate, individual entities apart from the rest of the universe, then we shall never realize oneness.
No mother thinks her child ugly, because that child is her own creation. In the same way, we are inevitably partial to ourselves: We create ourselves. If we are to reach any sort of spiritual realization, we must confront and resolve this prejudice.