Daily Reflections
June 25
A TWO-WAY STREET
If we ask, God will certainly forgive our derelictions. But in no case does He render us white as snow and keep us that way without our cooperation.
-TWELVE STEPS AND TWELVE TRADITIONS, p. 65
When I prayed, I used to omit a lot of things for which I needed to be forgiven. I thought that if I didn’t mention those things to God, He would never know about them. I did not know that if I had just forgiven myself for some of my past deeds, God would forgive me also. I was always taught to prepare for the journey through life, never realizing until I came to A.A. when I honestly became willing to be taught forgiveness and forgiving that life itself is the journey. The journey of life is a very happy one, as long as I am willing to accept change and responsibility.
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Twenty-Four Hours A Day
June 25
A.A. Thought For The Day
One of the most encouraging facts of life is that your weakness can become your greatest asset. Kites and airplanes rise against the wind. In climbing up a high mountain, we need the stony crags and rough places to aid us in our climb. So your weakness can become an asset if you will face it, examine it, and trace it to its origin. Set it in the very center of your mind. No weakness, such as drinking, ever turned into an asset until it was first fairly faced. Am I making my weakness my greatest asset?
Meditation For The Day
Whenever we seek to worship God, we think of the great universe that God rules over, of creation, of mighty law and order throughout the universe. Then we feel the awe that precedes worship. I too must feel awe, feel the desire to worship God in wondering amazement. My mind is in a box of space and time and it is so made that I cannot conceive of what is beyond space or time, the limitless and the eternal. But I know that there must be something beyond space and time, and that something must be the limitless and eternal Power behind the universe. I also know that I can experience that Power in my life.
Prayer For The Day
I pray that I may accept the limitless and eternal Spirit. I pray that It may express Itself in my life.
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As Bill Sees It
June 25
Domination and Demand, p. 176
The primary fact that we fail to recognize is our total inability to form a true partnership with another human being. Our egomania digs two disastrous pitfalls. Either we insist upon dominating people we know, or we depend upon them far too much.
If we lean too heavily on people, they will sooner or later fail us, for they are human, too, and cannot possibly meet our incessant demands. In this way our insecurity grows and festers.
When we habitually try to manipulate others to our own willful desires, they revolt, and resist us heavily. Then we develop hurt feelings, a sense of persecution, and a desire to retaliate.
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My dependency meant demand — a demand for the possession and control of other people and the conditions surrounding me.
1. 12 & 12, p. 53
2. Grapevine, January 1958
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Walk In Dry Places
June 25
Transforming garbage.
Handling the past
Left to itself, nature takes ordinary garbage and transforms it into useful nutrients that help sustain life. It’s usually poor human action that makes garbage a problem.
Our mental and emotional garbage takes the forms of bad memories, festering resentments, and useless regrets. We waste time berating ourselves and others about bad decisions and experiences that are behind us.
The magic of the 12 Step program is that we can use it to transform this mental garbage into useful experience. A past mistake can become as asset when we share it with others. Pain and suffering can teach a lesson that helps all of us to grow. By forgiving others, a resentment can be turned into a friendship.
I’ll resolve today not to worry about garbage any longer than it takes to identify it and release it to my Higher Power for transformation.
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Keep It Simple
June 25
When a man points a finger at someone else, he should remember that three of his fingers are pointing at himself.
—Louis Nizer
It’s so easy to blame others. Others are always making mistakes we can hide behind. That’s what blame is—hiding. When we blame others for our mistakes, we’re trying to hide our character defects.
It’s nobody else’s fault that we act the way we do. It’s our fault. We’re responsible for our actions.
And with the help of our Higher Power, we can change. We can turn over our character defects. Over time, we’re not afraid to learn about ourselves—even the parts we don’t like—because we want to know ourselves better.
Prayer for the Day: I pray for help in facing my character defects.
Action for the Day: I’ll think about the past week. I’ll list times I’ve used blame to hide from reality.
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Each Day a New Beginning
June 25
I have a simple philosophy. Fill what’s empty. Empty what’s full. And scratch where it itches.
—Alice Roosevelt Longworth
All too often, we complicate our lives. We can wonder and worry our way into confusion; obsession or preoccupation it’s often called. “What if?” “Will he?” “Should I?” “What do you think?” We seldom stop trying to figure out what to do, where to do it, how to meet a challenge, until someone reminds us to “keep it simple.”
What we each discover, again and again, is that the solution to any problem becomes apparent when we stop searching for it. The guidance we need for handling any difficulty, great or small, can only come into focus when we remove the barriers to it, and the greatest barrier is our frantic effort to personally solve the problem. We clutter our minds; we pray for an answer and yet don’t become quiet enough, for long enough, to become aware of the direction to go, or the steps to take. And they are always there.
Inherent in every problem or challenge is its solution. Our greatest lesson in life may be to keep it simple, to know that no problem stands in our way because no solution eludes a quiet, expectant mind.
I have opportunities every day to still my mind. And the messages I need – will come quietly. My answers are within me, now.
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Alcoholics Anonymous
June 25
The Vicious Cycle
How it finally broke a Southerner’s obstinacy and destined this salesman to start A.A. at Philadelphia.
At seventeen I entered the university, really to satisfy my father, who wanted me to study medicine there as he had. That is where I had. That is where I had my first drink and I still remember it, for every “first” drink afterwards did exactly the same trick–I could feel it go right through every bit of my body and down to my very toes. But each drink after the “first” drink seemed to become less and less effective and after three or four they all seemed like water. I was never a hilarious drunk; the more I drank the quieter I got, and the drunker I got the harder I fought to stay sober. So it is clear that I never had any fun out of drinking–I would be the soberest-seeming one in the crowd and all of a sudden I would be the drunkest. Even that first night I blacked out, which leads me to believe that I was an alcoholic from my very first drink. The first year in college I just got by in my studies, and that year I majored in poker and drinking. I refused to join any fraternity, as i wanted to be a free lance, and that year my drinking was confined to one-night stands, once or twice a week. The second year my drinking was more or less restricted to week-ends, but I was nearly kicked out for scholastic failure.
p. 222
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Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions
June 25
Step Ten – “Continued to take personal inventory and when we were wrong promptly admitted it.”
We can try to stop making unreasonable demands upon those we love. We can show kindness where we had shown none. With those we dislike we can begin to practice justice and courtesy, perhaps going out of our way to understand and help them.
Whenever we fail any of these people, we can promptly admit it–to ourselves always, and to them also, when the admission would be helpful. Courtesy, kindness, justice, and love are the keynotes by which we may come into harmony with practically anybody. When in doubt we can always pause, saying, “Not my will, but Thine, be done.” And we can often ask ourselves, “Am I doing to others as I would have them do to me–today?”
p. 93
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Xtra Thoughts
June 25
It’s what you learn after you know it all that counts.
–John Wooden
“Never answer an angry word with an angry word. It’s the second one that makes the quarrel.”
–W.A. Nance
Don’t argue for other people’s weaknesses. Don’t argue for your own. When you make a mistake, admit it, correct it, and learn from it–immediately.
–Stephen Covey
“Making prompt amends is the fresh air of each new day.”
–Sandra Little
A man who has committed a mistake and doesn’t correct it is committing another mistake.
–Confucius
“He who angers you conquers you.”
–Elizabeth Kenny
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Father Leo’s Daily Meditation
June 25
INTEGRITY
“Integrity has no need of rules.”
–Albert Camus
The benefit of a spiritual program is the development of integrity in my life. Integrity is having an honest respect for myself; it is respecting who I am and how I live in the world. Integrity also becomes a bridge by which I can reach my fellow man. My respect for my life develops a respect for others. My determination to have integrity affects the way I treat you. Integrity gives me freedom to be — and this allows for an acceptance of you.
Of course I must follow some rules and guidelines in my life but today they are not written in cement. Today I can be flexible with me and this means that I can be flexible with you. My past need to control has developed into an accepting serenity that brings peace. My spiritual program forever teaches me to be free; now I can live.
I pray that I can see beyond the rules into the beauty of Integrity.
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Bible Scriptures
June 25
Enter into His gates with thanksgiving, And into His courts with praise. Be thankful to Him, and bless His name. For the LORD is good; His mercy is everlasting, And His truth endures to all generations.
-Psalm 100:4-5
For I will surely deliver you, and you shall not fall by the sword; but your life shall be as a prize to you, because you have put your trust in Me, says the LORD.
-Jeremiah 39:18
“And my God shall supply all your need according to His riches in glory by Christ Jesus.”
-Philippians 4:19
“ … in everything give thanks; for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you.”
-1 Thessalonians 5:18
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Daily Inspiration
June 25
Those that least deserve your love are the ones that need it the most. Lord, may I have the humbleness of spirit to reach out even when my feelings may be hurt.
If you feel the need to get even, try getting even with those that have helped you. Lord, free me from any thoughts of revenge because this only shuts the door to my own happiness.
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A Day At A Time
June 25
Reflection For The Day
If ever I come to the complacent conclusion that I don’t need The Program any longer, let me quickly remind myself that it can do far more than carry me through the anguish of living in the bondage of addiction. Let me further remind myself that I can make even greater strides in fulfilling myself, for The Program and the Twelve Steps is a philosophy — a way of life. Will I ever outgrow my need for The Program?
Today I Pray
May my Higher Power lead me through the Twelve Steps, not just once, but again and again, until they become the guiding principles of my existence. This is no quickie seminar on improving the quality of my life; this is my life, restored to me through Divine Power and the friendship of my fellow addicts, who, like me, are recovering in the best known way.
Today I Will Remember
Step by Step, from bondage to abundant life.
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One More Day
June 25
Nothing is more fatal to health than an over-care of it.
– Benjamin Franklin
Let’s face it. There are certain times when we become preoccupied with our health. After all, if we’d broken a leg we’d be abnormal if we weren’t concerned with how we were going to walk or how frustrating it was. Long-term medical problems are a different matter. If we continue to constantly talk about our health, we will drive away the people we need most.
Talking less about our health problems may have benefits. We won’t be wearing down our friends and family members with our lengthy medical discussions, and we also may become more accepting. To be alive is to experience challenges, problems, and conflicts. Acceptance ensures that we’ll overcome some of the pain and that hope will be renewed.
Acceptance does bring relief and peace. God will grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change.
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One Day At A Time
June 25
STEP TWELVE
“One must really have suffered oneself to help others.”
–Mother Teresa
Before coming into the program, I always worked in some sort of caring profession and was always either helping or “fixing” someone else ~ mostly in areas in which I had no personal experience. I was a people-pleaser and I would be there for someone else. If anything needed to be done, I was the one to offer to do it. But ultimately that backfired because I would feel used and resentful, and I would land up in the food as my way of compensating.
Since coming into program I have changed the way I help others. Instead of doing for others so they would like me — or so I would get a pat on the back — I share my experience, strength and hope with other compulsive overeaters. I have been where they have been, and I can share with them my struggles and how I’ve overcome them. Not only do I help others in the program with what I have learned, but, as they say, I can only keep what I have if I give it away. I get as much — if not more — from sharing with another in the program. How different this is from the way it was before I began the program, and I’m so grateful for that!
One day at a time…
I will share my experience, strength and hope with another compulsive overeater. By doing so, I get to keep what I have so generously been given in this program.
~ Sharon
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Elder’s Meditation of the Day
June 25
“We are called hollow bones for our people and for anyone else we can help, and we are not supposed to seek power for our personal use and honor.”
–Fools Crow, LAKOTA
In order for us to use our power well, we must become a hollow bone. We must prepare ourselves to become a channel. Our channel must be clean before we can use our power well. We must be free of resentments, guilt, shame, anger, self pity and fear. If these things are in us, we cannot be hollow bones. These things block us from our power. The cleaner we are, the more power we move. We must become a hollow bone so the Creator can use us to do what he wants us to do.
My Creator, remove from me today all resentment, anger, fear, guilt and selfishness. Do not let my weaknesses stand in the way of my usefulness to You. Make me a hollow bone so Your power can flow through me.
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Journey To The Heart
June 25
Ground Yourself
So much of our growth is spiritual. Sometimes we fly so high, our soul soars into the heavens, touching life’s magic, sailing into the high spiritual realms. That is as it should be. But we need to be grounded,too. Even the tallest tree, the one that reaches hundreds of feet into the sky, has roots that go deep into the earth. The higher we want to travel on spiritual planes, the more we need to learn to ground ourselves. Our roots need to go deep into the earth,too.
Touch things that grow in the earth. Walk on the grass. Sit on the ground. Feel its presence, its solid grounding energy, rise up into you.
You are a soul, a spirit, but you have a body,too. Remember and nurture your spirit, but take time to attend to your body. Connect with what is physical, connect with the energy of the earth. Do the simple tasks that connect you to life on this planet– the day-to-day chores that connect you with your body and the rhythms of this world.
Grow spiritually, but let your spiritual growth be grounded in daily life and the things on earth. That is how you stay grounded; that’s how you honor your body and stay connected to it. Grow spiritually, but let that growth reflect and honor embodied life. Just as the body and workings of an airplane give shape to the idea of an airplane and allow it to fly, your body gives shape, form, and freedom to your soul. But even airplanes need to land sometimes.
Learn to tell when your body and soul need to come back to earth. Take time to get grounded. Then you’ll be able to soar.
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Today’s Gift
June 25
It is good to have an end to journey towards, but it is the journey that matters, in the end.
—Ursula K. LeGuin
Billy and his dad were excited about Fan Appreciation Night. They wanted to get one of the souvenir baseballs thrown into the stands. As they hurried toward their seats, they saw a man drop a ten-dollar bill. Billy picked up the money.
“Hey, Mister,” he said loudly. The man in front of him turned around. “You dropped this.” Billy handed him the money.
“Thank you,” said the man. Billy returned to his dad. Just as they reached their row, a ball came sailing towards their empty seats. Someone from the row behind caught it. Billy swallowed hard. “I know,” said his dad, looking at Billy, “But you did the right thing.”
For his effort, Billy will bring home a souvenir far more lasting and valuable than a baseball or a ten-dollar bill. He will know the bittersweet feeling of making a sacrifice to do what is right.
What sacrifice have I made to do what is right?
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The Language of Letting Go
June 25
Withholding
Sometimes, to protect ourselves, we close ourselves off from a person we’re in a relationship with. Our body may be present, but we’re not. We’re not available to participate in the relationship.
We shut down.
Sometimes, it is appropriate and healthy to shut down in a relationship. We may legitimately need some time out. Sometimes it is self-defeating to close ourselves off in a relationship.
To stop being vulnerable, honest, and present for another person can put an end to the relationship. The other person can do nothing in the relationship when we are gone. Closing ourselves makes us unavailable to that relationship.
It is common to go through temporary periods of closing down in a relationship. But it is unhealthy to make this an ongoing practice. It may be one of our relationship-sabotaging devices.
Before we close down, we need to ask ourselves what we are hoping to accomplish by shutting down. Do we need some time to deal? To heal? To grow? To sort through things? Do we need time out from this relationship? Or are we reverting to our old ways – hiding, running, and terminating relationships because we are afraid we cannot take care of ourselves in any other way?
Do we need to shut down because the other person truly isn’t safe, is manipulating, lying, or acting out addictively or abusively? Are we shutting down because the other person has shut down and we no longer want to be available?
Shutting down, shutting off, closing ourselves and removing our emotional presence from a relationship is a powerful tool. We need to use it carefully and responsibly. To achieve intimacy and closeness in a relationship, we need to be present emotionally. We need to be available.
God, help me be emotionally present in the relationships I choose to be in.
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More Language Of Letting Go
June 25
Surrender to God’s will
It was a stressful time in my life. I didn’t know what to do. I had pressing business decisions to make, and painful relationship issues to face. Everything felt like a mess.
I gathered up a few favorite books, the Bible, a journal, and some clothes. Then I headed for the mountains, a resort that was a favorite place of mine to hide out in and gather my thoughts.
I told myself, “I’m going to stay in there. Write in my journal. Pray. And meditate. I’m not coming out until I know what to do.”
After forty-eight hours of writing about my problems, praying about my problems, and meditating about my problems, I remembered something a friend had said to me.
“What are you doing?” he had asked.
“I’m trying to surrender to God’s will.”
“No you’re not, you’re trying to figure it out.”
Within six months, each of the problems I was wrestling with worked themselves out. I was either guided into an action that naturally felt right at the time, or a solution came to me. The immediate solution to each problem was the same: let go. Just surrender to the situation taking place. Sometimes, what we need to do next is surrender.
If you don’t like the word surrender, try calling it making peace.
God, help me surrender to your will, especially when I don’t know what to do next.
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Touchstones Meditation For Men
June 25
Some people greet the morning with a smile, but it’s more natural to protest its presence with sleepy sulkiness. “Who asked you to come again?” we feel like saying to it, as if it were a most unwelcome guest.
—Brendan Francis
We begin with the truth and build on the firm foundation it provides. We often hear we should have a positive attitude, we should be grateful for the new day. Perhaps some days we feel enthusiasm, and it’s wonderful when we do. But we don’t need to turn it into a requirement because shoulds tend to keep us out of touch with our honest feelings.
All feelings are acceptable. Whatever they are, the entire range of color and intensity of feelings comes from our Creator. Our task is dealing with them and responding to them. We begin by acknowledging them as they are. We do not have license to do whatever we feel like doing, only to feel what we feel. This point of honesty is a solid stepping-stone to grow from. We often find we feel different as soon as we admit our feelings.
Today, I will admit my true feelings and accept them as stepping-stones.
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Daily TAO
June 25
Cultivation
Imagine a sculpture
You work on every day.
If you stop, the beauty
Will slowly go away.
What if you were at work on a beautiful sculpture but your material reverted or decayed if you ever ceased to progress? This is the unfortunate nature of spiritual efforts.
You can never stop trying to purify yourself, improve yourself, strengthen yourself, and cultivate the sacred that is inside you. If you do well one day, that is good. But if you cease your efforts, you will slide backward. That is why you must strive on every level, from the physical to the mental to the spiritual. Your vigilance must never flag. Your determination must never waver.
Paradoxically,m there is nothing to achieve. It is only our minds that convince ourselves that we must do something. We are already pure, already sacred. But we live in a polluted world, we have egotistical thoughts that constantly divide us from the true Tao, and we cannot remain forever in a pure state and still function in the world. If you attained the higher levels of Tao, you would appear to an outsider as if in a trance, and it would be impossible to interact with others. So if you are trying to be spiritual in today’s world, you must never cease striving to keep yourself pure. Once you are not with Tao, you must constantly struggle with the impurity of the world.
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In God’s Care
June 25
Thinking about interior peace destroys interior peace.
The patient who constantly feels his pulse is not getting any better.
-Hubert van Zeller
As goal-oriented people, we are often determined to do such things as lose ten pounds, bring our cholesterol down to 180, read three books a month, spend fifteen minutes a day in meditation. We are constantly measuring ourselves by one standard or another – standards that we create for ourselves. We are so intent upon measuring up that we end up putting ourselves down.
We all want peace of mind, but when that’s our focus, it eludes us. True peace comes not from trying to have peace, but in trying to find God’s will and doing it. Turning our will and our life over to the care of God is the formula for inner peace. And when we share God’s love with others, we are too pleasantly occupied to wonder if we’re happy – we just are.
It’s all right to have goals, but peace comes from letting God run my life.
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Day By Day
June 25
Analyzing
Our constant analyzing could mean we don’t work the Steps; eventually, it could cost us our lives. It’s as if we were standing in a burning building, in front of a fire escape, trying to understand the principles of oxidation.
What we need to do first is to get out of the fire; we can learn about oxidation – addiction and recovery – later. It is dangerous to stand on the fringes of addiction; it can be dangerous to delay a commitment.
Have I made a clear choice?
Higher Power, help me learn to relate to you as well as to my analytical mind.
Today I will let go of analyzing and take Steps!
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Food for Thought
June 25
Accepting Change
One day my mother and I were working together in the garden. We were transplanting some plant for the third time. Grown from seed in a small container, the plants had been transferred to a larger container; then transplanted into the garden. Now, because I was moving, we were transplanting them again.
Inexperienced as a gardener, I turned to my green-thumbed mother. “Isn’t this bad for them?” I asked, as we dug them up and shook the dirt from their roots. “Won’t it hurt these plants, being uprooted and transplanted so many times?”
“Oh, no,” my mother replied. “Transplanting doesn’t hurt them. In fact, it’s good for the ones that survive. That’s how their roots grow strong. Their roots will grow deep, and they’ll make strong plants.”
Often, I’ve felt like those small plants – uprooted and turned upside down. Sometimes, I’ve endured the change willingly, sometimes reluctantly, but usually my reaction has been a combination.
Won’t this be hard on me? I ask. Wouldn’t it be better if things remained the same? That’s when I remember my mother’s words – that’s how the roots grow deep and strong.
Today, God, help me remember that during times of transition, my faith and my self are being strengthened.
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Daily Zen
June 25
Though night after night
The moon is stream-reflected,
Try to find where it has touched,
Point even to a shadow.
– Takuan (1573–1645)
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Faith’s Check Book
June 25
A Staircase to Heaven
And he saith unto him, Verily, verily, I say unto you, Hereafter ye shall see heaven open, and the angels of God ascending and descending upon the Son of man.
-John 1:51
Yes, to our faith this sight is plain even at this day. We do see heaven opened. Jesus Himself has opened that kingdom to all believers. We gaze into the place of mystery and glory, for He has revealed it to us. We shall enter it soon, for He is the way.
Now we see the explanation of Jacob’s ladder. Between earth and heaven there is a holy commerce; prayer ascends, and answers come down by the way of Jesus, the Mediator. We see this ladder when we see our Lord. In Him a stairway of light now furnishes a clear passage to the throne of the Most High. Let us use it and send up by it the messengers of our prayers. We shall live the angelic life ourselves if we run up to heaven in intercession, lay hold upon the blessings of the covenant, and then descend again to scatter those gifts among the sons of men.
This choice sight which Jacob only saw in a dream will turn into a bright reality. This very day we will be up and down the ladder each hour: climbing in communion and coming down in labor to save our fellowmen. This is Thy promise, O Lord Jesus; let us joyfully see it fulfilled.
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This Morning’s Meditation
June 25
“Get thee up into the high mountain.”
—Isaiah 40:9
OUR knowledge of Christ is somewhat like climbing one of our Welsh mountains. When you are at the base you see but little: the mountain itself appears to be but one-half as high as it really is. Confined in a little valley, you discover scarcely anything but the rippling brooks as they descend into the stream at the foot of the mountain. Climb the first rising knoll, and the valley lengthens and widens beneath your feet. Go higher, and you see the country for four or five miles round, and you are delighted with the widening prospect. Mount still, and the scene enlarges; till at last, when you are on the summit, and look east, west, north, and south, you see almost all England lying before you. Yonder is a forest in some distant county, perhaps two hundred miles away, and here the sea, and there a shining river and the smoking chimneys of a manufacturing town, or the masts of the ships in a busy port. All these things please and delight you, and you say, “I could not have imagined that so much could be seen at this elevation.” Now, the Christian life is of the same order. When we first believe in Christ we see but little of Him. The higher we climb the more we discover of His beauties. But who has ever gained the summit? Who has known all the heights and depths of the love of Christ which passes knowledge? Paul, when grown old, sitting grey-haired, shivering in a dungeon in Rome, could say with greater emphasis than we can, “I know whom I have believed,” for each experience had been like the climbing of a hill, each trial had been like ascending another summit, and his death seemed like gaining the top of the mountain, from which he could see the whole of the faithfulness and the love of Him to whom he had committed his soul. Get thee up, dear friend, into the high mountain.