Daily Reflections
September 12
I AM RESPONSIBLE
For the readiness to take the full consequences of our past acts, and to take responsibility for the well-being of others at the same time, is the very spirit of Step Nine.
-TWELVE STEPS AND TWELVE TRADITIONS, p. 87
In recovery, and through the help of Alcoholics Anonymous, I learn that the very thing I fear is my freedom. It comes from my tendency to recoil from taking responsibility for anything: I deny, I ignore, I blame, I avoid. Then one day, I look, I admit, I accept. The freedom, the healing and the recovery I experience is in the looking, admitting and accepting. I learn to say, “Yes, I am responsible.” When I can speak those words with honesty and sincerity, then I am free.
******************************
Twenty-Four Hours A Day
September 12
A.A. Thought For The Day
“What draws newcomers to A.A. and gives them hope? They hear the stories of men and women whose experiences tally with their own. The expressions on the faces of the women, that undefinable something in the eyes of the men, the stimulating atmosphere of the A.A. clubroom, conspire to let them know that there is haven at last. The very practical approach to their problems, the absence of intolerance of any kind, the informality, the genuine democracy, the uncanny understanding that these people in A.A. have is irresistible.” Have I found a real haven in A.A.?
Meditation For The Day
“If thine eye be single, thy whole body shall be full of light.” The eye of the soul is the will. if your will is to do the will of God, to serve Him with your life, to serve Him by helping others, then truly shall your whole body be full of light. The important thing is to strive to attune your will to the will of God, a single eye to God’s purpose, desiring nothing less than that His purposes be fulfilled. Try to seek in all things the advance of His kingdom, seek the spiritual values of honesty and purity, unselfishness and love, and earnestly desire spiritual growth. Then your life will emerge from the darkness of futility into the light of victory.
Prayer For The Day
I pray that my eye may be single. I pray that my life may be lived in the light of the best that I know.
******************************
As Bill Sees It
September 12
Satisfactions of Right Living, p.254
How wonderful is the feeling that we do not have to be specially distinguished among our fellows in order to be useful and profoundly happy. Not many of us can be leaders of prominence, nor do we wish to be.
Service gladly rendered, obligations squarely met, troubles well accepted or solved with God’s help, the knowledge that at home or in the world outside we are partners in a common effort, the fact that in God’s sight all human beings are important, the proof that love freely given brings a full return, the certainty that we are no longer isolated and alone in self-constructed prisons, the surety that we can fit and belong in God’s scheme of things–these are the satisfactions of right living for which no pomp and circumstance, no heap of material possessions, could possibly be substitutes.
12 & 12, p.124
******************************
Walk In Dry Places
September 12
Handle the Old tapes with care.
Releasing the Past.
A large number of recovering people have a tough time coming to terms with the abuse and abandonment of childhood days. Sometimes we play those “old tapes” while reliving the past in a mood of self-pity and resentment. This is destructive.
We cannot completely erase the past, but we can turn it over to our friends and our Higher power. Our goal should be to transform past experiences into constructive examples.
We can start by reminding ourselves that all unhappy experience is a product of the world’s sickness and ignorance. Far from being unusual, our misery was a common thing that we’re only now beginning to overcome.
We can also practice God’s forgiveness, remembering that real forgiveness is humanly impossible. We should resist the temptation to tell others about our past sufferings in order to gain sympathy. At all times, the old tapes must be handled with care.
Whatever happened in the past cannot affect me today unless I let it. I’ll play the old tapes only when it can be done constructively.
******************************
Keep It Simple
September 12
When angry, count to ten before you speak: if very angry, a hundred.
—Thomas Jefferson
Sometimes we just want to yell. Maybe a family member or a friend messed up, and we want to “set them straight.” Start counting. Maybe we got chewed out at work and we want “to get even.” Start counting.
We get drunk on anger. We may feel powerful when we “set someone straight.” But like an alcohol high, an anger high last only a short time and can hurt others. We must control our anger. This is why we count.
Cool down. Think out what you need or want to say. Use words that you’ll not be ashamed of later. Learning how to respect others when we’re angry is a sign of recovery.
Prayer for the Day : Higher Power, teach me to respect others when I’m angry.
Action for the Day: Today, when I feel angry I’ll count. I’ll work at not controlling other with my anger.
******************************
Each Day a New Beginning
September 12
No person is your enemy, no person is your friend, and every person is your teacher.
—Florence Scovel Shinn
We can open ourselves to opportunities today. They abound in our lives. No circumstance we find ourselves in is detrimental to our progress. No relationship with someone at work or at home is superfluous to our development. Teachers are everywhere. And as we become ready for a new lesson, one will appear.
We can marvel at the wonder of our lives today. We can reflect on our yesterdays and be grateful for the lessons they taught. We can look with hopeful anticipation at the days ahead – gifts, all of them. We are on a special journey, serving a special purpose, uniquely our own. No barrier, no difficult person, no tumultuous time is designed to interrupt our progress. All experiences are simply to teach us what we have yet to learn.
Trusting in the goodness of all people, all situations, all paths to progress will release whatever our fears, freeing us to go forth with a quicker step and an assurance that eases all moments.
The Twelve Steps help us to recognize the teachers in our lives. They help us clear away the baggage of the past and free us to accept and trust the will of God, made known to us by the teachers as they appear.
I am a student of life. I can learn only if I open my mind to my teachers.
******************************
Alcoholics Anonymous
September 12
He Sold Himself Short
But he found there was a Higher Power that had more faith in him than he had to himself. Thus, A.A. was born in Chicago.
One time my wife decided to try this too. After finding every bottle that I had hidden around the apartment, she took away my pants, my shoes, my money, and my keys, threw them under the bed in the back bedroom, and slip-locked our door. By one a.m. I was desperate. I found some wool stockings, some white flannels that had shrunk to my knees, and an old jacket. I jimmied the front door so that I could get back in, and walked out. I was hit by an icy blast. It was February with snow and ice on the ground, and I had a four-block walk to the nearest cab stand, but I made it. On my ride to the nearest bar, I sold the driver on how misunderstood I was by my wife and what an unreasonable person she was. By the time we reached the bar, he was willing to buy me a quart with his own money. Then when we got back to the apartment, he was willing to wait two or three days until I got my health back to be paid off for the liquor and fare. I was a good salesman. My wife could not understand the next morning why I was drunker than the night before, when she had taken my bottles.
pp. 259-260
******************************
Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions
September 12
Tradition Two – “For our group purpose, there is but one ultimate authority – a loving God as He may express Himself in our group conscience.”
What are these facts of A.A. life which brought us to this apparently impractical principle?
John Doe, a good A.A. moves – let us say – to Middletown, U.S.A. Alone now, he reflects that he may not be able to stay sober, or even alive, unless he passes on to other alcoholics what was so freely given him. He feels a spiritual and ethical compulsion, because hundreds may be suffering within reach of his help. Then, too, he misses his home group. He needs other alcoholics as much as they need him. He visits preachers, doctors, editors, policemen , and bartenders … with the result that Middletown now has a group, and he is the founder.
pp. 132-133
******************************
Xtra Thoughts
September 12
“Pray to God, but keep rowing to the shore.”
–Russian Proverb
The doors we open and close each day decide the lives we live.
–Flora Whittemore
One never knows what each day is going to bring. The important thing is to be open and ready for it.
–Henry Moore
“Lord, make me a channel of thy peace–that where there is hatred, I may bring love–that where there is wrong, I may bring the spirit of forgiveness–that where there is discord, I may bring harmony–that where there is error, I may bring truth–that where there is doubt, I may bring faith–that where there is despair, I may bring hope–that where there are shadows, I may bring light–that where there is sadness, I may bring joy. Lord, grant that I may seek rather to comfort than to be comforted–to understand, than to be understood–to love, than to be loved. For it is by self-forgetting that one finds. It is by forgiving that one is forgiven. It is by dying that one awakens to Eternal Life. Amen.”
–12 & 12, p. 99
******************************
Father Leo’s Daily Meditation
September 12
SELF-LOVE
“To love oneself is the beginning of a life-long romance.”
– Oscar Wilde
Today I am able to say that I love myself. To love myself is to love God and the world in which I live. I cannot befriend, hug, help or create without first having a relationship with myself. Without me, there is no meaning to my life. I am the most important thing in my life. This is not said to be conceited but is an aspect of self-love. It reveals a healthy pride and respect for my life. And it feels good.
For years I thought that to love “self” was wrong and sinful, a misuse of energy and time. What people thought about me was so important; what people said about me was a constant worry. And the more I looked out of myself for meaning, the more lost, isolated and confused I became. Then I heard that God loved me and he wanted me to love me. Today I live and love through me.
O God who created me to love, let me begin with me.
******************************
Bible Scriptures
September 12
The LORD is my shepherd, I shall not be in want. He makes me lie down in green pastures, he leads me beside quiet waters, he restores my soul. He guides me in paths of righteousness for his name’s sake. Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil, for you are with me; your rod and your staff, they comfort me. You prepare a table before me in the presence of my enemies. You anoint my head with oil; my cup overflows. Surely goodness and love will follow me all the days of my life, and I will dwell in the house of the LORD forever.
-Psalm 23
******************************
Daily Inspiration
September 12
No one has the power to take your happiness or keep you from being happy and at peace unless you allow it. Lord, help me remember that I am sustained and supported by Your love for me who wants only for my safety and goodness.
Enthusiasm keeps the mind young and the spirit growing. Lord, may I always see wonder in the ordinary happenings of my day.
******************************
A Day At A Time
September 12
Reflection For The Day
“At certain moments.” wrote Coleridge, ” a single almost insignificant sorrow may, by association, bring together all the little epics of pain and discomfort, bodily and mental, that we have endured even from infancy.” The Program doesn’t teach us to pretend that hardships and sorrow are meaningless. Grief really hurts, and so do other kinds of pain. But now that we’re free of our addictions, we have much greater control over our thinking. And the thoughts we choose to spend time on during any given day can strongly influence the complexion of our feelings for that day. Am I finding different and better ways of using my mind?
Today I Pray
May I thank God for the pain — however insignificant -0- that magnetizes my succession of old hurts into one large one that I can take out and look at, and then discard to make room for new and present concerns. May I thank God for restoring my sensitivity to pain after the numbness of addiction.
Today I Will Remember
I can thank God for restoring my feelings.
******************************
One More Day
September 12
There is no more certain sign of a narrow mind, or stupidity, and of arrogance, then to stand aloof from those who think differently from us.
– Walter Savage Landor
We all carry some opinions and beliefs formed long ago, with no thought as to how they continue to affect us. We may be inflexible to beliefs or ideas that differ from ours. Because of this we might be intolerant of other people, especially those who seem different from us.
Our beliefs and actions toward other people may come from fear — a fear of the unexpected, of the unknown, or of being wrong. Wee may resist examining the rules and beliefs governing our lives because we’re not totally sure of them. Opening ourselves to new ideas is easier if we remain ourselves that we don’t have to accept the ideas, just the people.
I can fearlessly open myself to new ideas and new people.
******************************
One Day At A Time
September 12
LOVE
“Love yourself first and everything else falls into line. You really have to love yourself to get anything done in this world.”
–Lucille Ball
It took me a long time to learn what love truly means. I thought love included pleasing others, saying “yes” when I meant “no,” swallowing my true feelings and putting myself last. What I didn’t know is that I was practicing resentment, anger, fear, jealousy and everything but love. I could not love others because I did not love myself.
Then I decided to take care of myself first. I considered no one but me, took care of myself, (or so I thought) while actually alienating myself from those close to me. I ate compulsively to tame the self-loathing I felt inside. And I loathed myself because I did not treat myself with real love and kindness.
Today I know that loving myself must come first. If I love myself, I am better able to love everyone in my life because I do things from a place of honesty. If I treat myself with respect, I treat others with respect. Everyone wins when I love myself enough to accept myself, flaws and all.
One day at a time …
I will ask my Higher Power for the
ability to accept and love myself for where I
am this day, knowing I am a work in progress like a
tree that grows from self-care and nurturing.
~ Melissa
******************************
Elder’s Meditation of the Day
September 12
“If you get troubled, go and sit by the river. The flowing water will take your troubles away.”
–Joe Coyhis, STOCKBRIDGE-MUNSEE
Sometimes we get mixed up and we don’t know what to do. Go to the river or creek. Take your sage and tobacco; sit and be still. Talk to the water, offer tobacco and the healing water will take your problems downstream. Give thanks.
Great Spirit, heal my mind today, let me see love.
******************************
Journey To The Heart
September 12
Energize Yourself
Don’t tell yourself you have no energy. You are energy. Learn to energize yourself.
Get up. Move around. Play some invigorating music. Stretch your arms, stretch your legs. Move your body around. Get out and walk.
Watch children play. They seem to have an unlimited supply of energy. Remember what it was like to be a child. You had an unlimited supply of energy then. Most of us still do.
Yes, we do get tired from time to time, particularly with the schedules many of us have. And there are time in our life when less energy is available to us, such as during times of deep grief or during illness when our body is using its energy to heal a physical problem. And sometimes other people and their problems drain us. But sometimes we drain ourselves,too.
If you don’t feel your energy, perhaps something is blocking it. You may be experiencing some resistance to what you’re trying to do. Maybe an old emotion or belief is clogging your circuits. Maybe you’ve been sitting too long crunched up in your chair, blocking your own circuits. Maybe you’re telling yourself you have no energy so loudly that you’ve begun to believe it.
Clear your circuits. Push through whatever’s blocking you. Then get up, move around, connect to life. Learn to energize yourself.
******************************
Today’s Gift
September 12
No yesterdays are ever wasted for those who give themselves today.
—Brendan Francis
We often find ourselves yearning for tomorrow. We get carried away thinking about the next day’s big game or camping trip. We find ourselves daydreaming about how much fun we’ll have with friends or what animals we’ll see in the park.
The next day comes and perhaps the excitement about the game diminishes because our friends can’t make it or the camping trip is cancelled because of bad weather. We feel cheated and begin regretting the missed opportunities of yesterday.
When we find ourselves concentrating only on tomorrow, we need to stop and look around. We’ll begin to notice the joke a friend is telling, or the bird flying overhead. We will begin appreciating the joys of the moment.
When we live in the moment, we have no expectations about the next moment, and without expectations, we can’t be disappointed, only surprised.
What is delightful about this moment right now?
******************************
The Language of Letting Go
September 12
Healing
We should learn not to grow impatient with the slow healing process of time. We should discipline ourselves to recognize that there are many steps to be taken along the highway leading from sorrow to renewed serenity … We should anticipate these stages in our emotional convalescence: unbearable pain, poignant grief, empty days, resistance to consolation, disinterestedness in life, gradually giving way … to the new weaving of a pattern of action and the acceptance of the irresistible challenge of life.
–Joshua Loth Liebman
Recovery is a process. It is a gradual process, a healing process, and a spiritual process – a journey rather than a destination.
Just as codependency takes on a life of its own and is progressive, so recovery progresses. One thing leads to another and things – as well as us – get better.
We can relax, do our part, and let the rest happen.
Today, I will trust this process and this journey that I have undertaken.
******************************
More Language Of Letting Go
September 12
Look at the roles you play
In his book Ethics for a New Millennium, The Dalai Lama spoke of the idea that most of us aren’t a static personality. There isn’t just one side to us, we play many roles in life.
I am a recovering alcoholic and a recovering codependent. I am a mother. I am a writer. I am someone’s girlfriend. I am a sky diver. I am a business person, a negotiator, a woman. In each of these roles, my personality expresses itself differently. I use different talents and traits.
What are all the different roles you play in your life? Most of us are aware that we’re one person at work, somewhat different at home, and sometimes a lot different when we play. Some of us tend to feel guilty about this. “Oh, if they only knew what I was like at home, they’d never respect me as a boss,” one man said.
Take the time to get to know all the different parts of yourself. Honor and respect each one. Each has a different role to play in your life. When you’re trying to move forward, take a moment. Make certain that all of your I am’s are working together for your best.
You don’t have to behave the same at home as you do at work. You get to be a mother, and a wife,too. Honor and respect all the different roles you play in life, understanding that each one has its own important place.
Then remember to practice the principles we’re striving to live by in everything we do.
Our roles might change, but the ideals and values we live by don’t.
God, help me honor and accept all my past and present I am’s. Help me leave enough room to create new sides or parts of myself,too.
Activity: Take some time to write in your journal about all the different roles you play in your life right now. Describe each role as accurately as you can. The next time you get stuck, consult each one of these personalities. For instance, the worker in you may want to make a particular decision about moving forward in your career, but the parent self may have some objections. Understand every part of your personality, and learn to make decisions that benefit the whole.
******************************
Touchstones Meditations For Men
September 12
Not all fights are bad; in fact they are preferable to disciplined serenity.
—William Atwood
A good relationship includes some disagreement. Anger and disagreement, when we express them respectfully, are important ways of renewing communication and breaking through the walls that sometimes built up. No relationship can tolerate constant fighting. But, when we don’t agree with someone, we owe it to that person to speak up and follow through to resolution. We can promise ourselves and the other person that we will stay in the relationship through the disagreement. It is because we care that we fight.
In any relationship we care about, there will be differences. When we avoid all confrontations, our relationships go stale because all emotional issues are avoided. Carefulness and over control undermine love because they don’t give it room to breathe, but disagreement and anger expressed in honest and respectful ways will help love grow.
Today, I pray for the courage to acknowledge my disagreements and angry feelings with others and to deal with their feelings toward me.
******************************
Daily TAO
September 12
INDEFINITE
Spring was a time of swaggering declarations.
Reaching autumn, one finds few absolutes.
Life is mystery and ambiguity,
Toward winter, that now seems agreeable and comfortable.
When young, one makes heroic attempts. The world will surely bend to our will, we think, and we will surely make grand contributions. Social injustice will be righted. The big questions will be answered.
I once went to see a master writer. Long retired, white-haired and fragile, she nevertheless evinced a sharp and discerning mind. I was a novice writer. She had edited hundreds of great authors. I peppered her with all my anxieties and asked her all the questions that my teachers never answered. To most of my questions she would only answer, “Yes.” She knew all the answers, and she knew all the exceptions, and she knew the best thing that an older person could tell a younger person was “Yes.” Yes, the affirmative. Yes, as in keep exploring. Yes, as in there are no ultimate answers.
I used to push for an immediate resolution to daily problems. Now, I am not so anxious. Is science right about things, or is religion? Is there good and evil on a metaphysical level? Is there one god, or are there many gods, or no gods? A hundred answers exist for these questions. They are all known, but no one agrees. Today, I think it all very fine. Let there be a hundred answers with none of them entirely correct. The asking of the question is already enough.
********************************************************************
Daily Zen
September 12
Only then do you know that in the past there was basically no delusion and that in the present there is basically no awakening, that awakening is delusion and delusion is awakening, that facing toward and turning away are identical, that the nature is identical to mind and mind is identical to the nature, that Buddhas are delusive demons and delusive demons are Buddhas. The one pure equality without any opposition of equal and not equal- all this is the constant endowment of one’s own mind, not dependent on the skills of another.
– Ta-hui
********************************************************************
Food For Thought
September 12
Carrying the Message
We do not keep our program unless we give it away. Our participation in meetings is a means of sharing with others what OA has given us. We are genuinely interested in newcomers, because they remind us of where we came from and because they give us an opportunity to strengthen our own program by sharing what we have received.
Sometimes we carry the message by providing transportation for someone who otherwise would not get to a meeting. Sometimes we give of ourselves by simply listening when a newcomer needs to talk. Practicing the OA principles in all areas of our life is carrying the message, even to those who are not compulsive overeaters.
Abstinence and the OA program now occupy the central place in our lives, the place which was once held by food. Following the will of our Higher Power means that we carry the message as He directs us. We are willing to be used in whatever way God moves us to give away our program.
May I serve You by carrying the message.
********************************************************************
Faiths Checkbook
September 12
What of My House?
Believe on the Lord Jesus Christ, and thou shalt be saved, and thy house.
-Acts 16:31
This gospel for a man with a sword at his throat is the gospel for me. This would suit me if I were dying, and it is all that I need while I am living. I look away from self, and sin, and all idea of personal merit, and I trust the Lord Jesus as the Savior whom God has given. I believe in Him, I rest on Him, I accept Him to be my all in all. Lord, I am saved, and I shall be saved to all eternity, for I believe in Jesus. Blessed be Thy name for this. May I daily prove by my life that I am saved from selfishness, and worldliness, and every form of evil.
But those last words about my “house”: Lord, I would not run away with half a promise when Thou dost give a whole one. I beseech Thee, save all my family. Save the nearest and dearest. Convert the children and the grandchildren, if I have any. Be gracious to my servants and all who dwell under my roof or work for me. Thou makest this promise to me personally if I believe in the Lord Jesus; I beseech Thee to do as Thou hast said.
I would go over in my prayer every day the names of all my brothers and sisters, parents, children, friends, relatives, servants, and give Thee no rest till that word is fulfilled, “and thy house.”
********************************************************************
This Mornings Reading
September 12
“God is jealous.”
—Nahum 1:2
YOUR Lord is very jealous of your love, O believer. Did He choose you? He cannot bear that you should choose another. Did He buy you with His own blood? He cannot endure that you should think that you are your own, or that you belong to this world. He loved you with such a love that He would not stop in heaven without you; He would sooner die than you should perish, and He cannot endure that anything should stand between your heart’s love and Himself. He is very jealous of your trust. He will not permit you to trust in an arm of flesh. He cannot bear that you should hew out broken cisterns, when the overflowing fountain is always free to you. When we lean upon Him, He is glad, but when we transfer our dependence to another, when we rely upon our own wisdom, or the wisdom of a friend—worst of all, when we trust in any works of our own, He is displeased, and will chasten us that He may bring us to Himself. He is also very jealous of our company. There should be no one with whom we converse so much as with Jesus. To abide in Him only, this is true love; but to commune with the world, to find sufficient solace in our carnal comforts, to prefer even the society of our fellow Christians to secret intercourse with Him, this is grievous to our jealous Lord. He would fain have us abide in Him, and enjoy constant fellowship with Himself; and many of the trials which He sends us are for the purpose of weaning our hearts from the creature, and fixing them more closely upon Himself. Let this jealousy which would keep us near to Christ be also a comfort to us, for if He loves us so much as to care thus about our love we may be sure that He will suffer nothing to harm us, and will protect us from all our enemies. Oh that we may have grace this day to keep our hearts in sacred chastity for our Beloved alone, with sacred jealousy shutting our eyes to all the fascinations of the world!
********************************************************************
This Evenings Reading
September 12
“I will sing of mercy and judgment.”
—Psalm 101:1
FAITH triumphs in trial. When reason is thrust into the inner prison, with her feet made fast in the stocks, faith makes the dungeon walls ring with her merry notes as she I cries, “I will sing of mercy and of judgment. Unto thee, O Lord, will I sing.” Faith pulls the black mask from the face of trouble, and discovers the angel beneath. Faith looks up at the cloud, and sees that
‘Tis big with mercy and shall break In blessings on her head.”
There is a subject for song even in the judgments of God towards us. For, first, the trial is not so heavy as it might have been; next, the trouble is not so severe as we deserved to have borne; and our affliction is not so crushing as the burden which others have to carry. Faith sees that in her worst sorrow there is nothing penal; there is not a drop of God’s wrath in it; it is all sent in love. Faith discerns love gleaming like a jewel on the breast of an angry God. Faith says of her grief, “This is a badge of honour, for the child must feel the rod”; and then she sings of the sweet result of her sorrows, because they work her spiritual good. Nay, more, says Faith, “These light afflictions, which are but for a moment, work out for me a far more exceeding and eternal weight of glory.” So Faith rides forth on the black horse, conquering and to conquer, trampling down carnal reason and fleshly sense, and chanting notes of victory amid the thickest of the fray.
“All I meet I find assists me
In my path to heavenly joy:
Where, though trials now attend me,
Trials never more annoy.
“Blest there with a weight of glory,
Still the path I’ll ne’er forget,
But, exulting, cry, it led me
To my blessed Saviour’s seat.”