Daily Reflections
February 13
WE CAN’T THINK OUR WAY SOBER
To the intellectually self-sufficient man or woman, many A.A.’s can say, “Yes, we were like you–far too smart for our own good … Secretly, we felt we could float above the rest of the folks on our brain power alone.”
AS BILL SEES IT, p. 60
Even the most brilliant mind is no defense against the disease of alcoholism. I can’t think my way sober. I try to remember that intelligence is a God-given attribute that I may use, a joy–like having a talent for dancing or drawing or carpentry. It does not make me better than anyone else, and it is not a particularly reliable tool for recovery, for it is a power greater than myself who will restore me to sanity–not a high IQ or a college degree.
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Twenty-Four Hours A Day
February 13
A.A. Thought For The Day
Sometimes we can’t help thinking: Why can’t we ever drink again? We know it’s because we’re alcoholics, but why did we have to get that way? The answer is that at some point in our drinking careers, we passed what is called our “tolerance point.” When we passed this point, we passed from a condition in which we could tolerate alcohol to a condition in which we could not tolerate it at all. After that, if we took one drink we would sooner or later end up drunk. When I think of liquor now, do I think of it as something that I can never tolerate again?
Meditation For The Day
In a race, it is when a goal is in sight that heart and nerves and muscles and courage are strained almost to the breaking point. So with us. The goal of the spiritual life is in sight. All we need is the final effort. The saddest records made by people are those who ran well, with brave stout hearts, until the sight of the goal and then some weakness or self-indulgence held them back. They never knew how near the goal they were or how near they were to victory.
Prayer For The Day
I pray that I may press on until the goal is reached. I pray that I may not give up in the final stretch.
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As Bill Sees It
February 13
Daily Acceptance, p. 44
“Too much of my life has been spent in dwelling upon the faults of others. This is a most subtle and perverse form of self-satisfaction, which permits us to remain comfortably unaware of our own defects. Too often we are heard to say, ‘If it weren’t for him (or her), how happy I’d be!”
<< << << >> >> >>
Our very first problem is to accept our present circumstances as they are, ourselves as we are, and the people about us as they are. This is to adopt a realistic humility without which no genuine advance can even begin. Again and again, we shall need to return to that unflattering point of departure. This is an exercise in acceptance that we can profitably practice every day of our lives.
Provided we strenuously avoid turning these realistic surveys of the facts of life into unrealistic alibis for apathy or defeatism, they can be the sure foundation upon which increased emotional heath and therefore spiritual progress can be built.
1. Letter, 1966
2. Grapevine, March 1962
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Walk In Dry Places
February 13
When Others Don’t perform
Personal Responsibility
There will be times when other people will disappoint us.. either intentionally or because of indifference or incompetence. If we have been counting on them, their nonperformance can cause us real anger and frustration.
Our growth, however, should teach us that such failures are part of life. While never losing trust in others, we must accept them as fallible people. Their mistakes and lapses come from the human shortcomings all of us have.
Our best course is to live without expecting too much from others. They are not here to please or satisfy us. It’s possible, too, that we’ve been unrealistic in some of our expectations and have set ourselves up for disappointments.
Our personal responsibility is to do our best even when others fall short of our expectations. At the same time, we can grow by becoming more reliable and dependable ourselves.
We cannot use another’s failure as an excuse for negligence on our part.
Today I’ll expect the best, but I will know that I also have the spiritual resources to deal with the worst that can happen.
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Each Day a New Beginning
February 13
I have sacrificed everything in my life that I consider precious in order to advance the political career of my husband.
–Pat Nixon
Putting another person’s needs first is what most of us were trained to do when growing up. We were seldom encouraged to embark on an individual course, and years of taking a back seat taught us that our hopes mattered little.
Now, for some of us, the future looks like a blank wall. It is time to carve out a plan for ourselves, yet how do we decide where we want to go? And how do we get there? The program says, “Live one day at a time.” Our friends say, “Take one step at a time.”
We have chosen to do something about the circumstances we found ourselves in, or we wouldn’t be reading these words. We can stop for a moment and reflect on the many changes thus far. We are already on our way. We have taken a number of necessary steps. What an exciting adventure we have embarked upon! And we will be helped all along the way.
We can trust our inner yearnings, the ones we may have stifled in times past. We can realize our hearts’ pure desires, if we seek guidance.
My time has come. I can mold my future. I will take each day, each experience, and let it draw me to the next important step.
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Keep It Simple
February 13
Tomorrow doesn’t matter, for I have lived today.
–Horace
Life is found in the present. One of the first things we hear when we enter the program is, One Day at a Time. We break life into short time periods. This give us the power to change. We’re not sure we can stay sober for a lifetime. But we know that with God, and our program, we can stay sober for today.
This holds true for many other things in out lives. We’re not sure we can go a lifetime without feeling self-pity, but we can give it up for a day. By living One Day at a Time, we become more sure of our strength. We have the power to change things only in the present. The present holds much for us, if we get a hold on it.
Prayer for the Day: Higher Power, You are found in the moment. You are here. I will stay with You minute by minute.
Action for the Day: I will ground myself in the present. Today, I’ll not worry about the past or the future.
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Alcoholics Anonymous
February 13
MY BOTTLE, MY RESENTMENTS, AND ME
– From childhood trauma to skid row drunk, this hobo finally found a Higher Power, bringing sobriety and a long-lost family.
But, I’m ahead of myself. I believe my alcoholism really begun when I was eleven years old and my mother was brutally murdered. Until then my life had been much the same as any of the other boys who lived in a small town during that period.
p. 437
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Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions
February 13
Foreword
The basic principles of A.A., as they are known today, were borrowed mainly from the fields of religion and medicine, though some ideas upon which success finally depended were the result of noting the behavior and needs of the Fellowship itself.
p. 16
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Xtra Thoughts
February 13
“Letting go of the past and not worrying about the future seems a small price to pay for all the happiness to be found in the present.”
The richest man, whatever his lot, is he who is content with what he has got. –Dutch Proverb
If you want to lift yourself up, lift up someone else. –Booker T. Washington
God help me relax and let my answer about what to do next come naturally from you. –Melody Beattie
We are loved completely by a God who knows us completely. –Pedro A. Sandin-Fremaint
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Father Leo’s Daily Meditation
February 13
REALITY
“It is the chiefest point of happiness that man is willing to be what he is.”
— Desiderious Erasmus
I am an alcoholic. Today I am able to love myself because I am able to accept myself.
More than this: because I am able to accept myself, I am able to be myself. The acceptance of my disease around alcohol has taught me that I am not perfect, and I do not live in a perfect world — this leads to an acceptance of others. My pain around alcohol has given me an insight into the sufferings of others — and this has produced spiritual growth.
I am happy not because I am an alcoholic but because I know that I am an alcoholic. Today I can be what I was meant to be, rather than the “fake” that I was becoming.
In the spiritual journey is the happiness.
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Bible Scriptures
February 13
“And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.” Romans 8:28
‘Come unto me all ye that labour and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest.’ Matthew 11:28
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Daily Inspiration
February 13
Leave behind your faults and know that your past is forgiven. Lord, You have freed me to live today and allowed me to know that my future is secure in You.
Live a God-filled life and it will be only natural that you will express enthusiasm for life, joy, laughter and happiness. Lord, may the way I live always express my love for You.
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A Day At A Time
February 13
Reflection For The Day
We sometimes hear someone say, “He is standing in his own light,” A mental picture then clearly reveals that many of us tend to shadow our own happiness by mistaken thinking. Let us learn to stand aside so the light can shine on us and all we do. For only then can we see ourselves and our circumstances with true clarity With The Program and the Twelves Steps, we no longer need to stand in our own light and try alone to solve our problems in dearness. When I am faced with a seemingly insoluble problem, will I ask myself if I am standing in my own light?
Today I Pray
May I not get in my own way, obscure my own clarity of thought, stumble over my own feet, block my own doorway to recovery. If I find that I am standing in my own light, may I ask my Higher Power and my friends in the group to show me a new vantage point.
Today I Will Remember
If all I an see is my shadow, I’m in my own light.
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One More Day
February 13
Joy waits for no man.
–Tanhuma
Joyfulness is one of God’s greatest gifts. Joy transcends all time and place. Joy causes unmeasurable and often indescribable feelings which we might only have for a fleeting moment. Joy is like opening a special present. It is a state of mind, a frame of reference for future memories.
While we may quite easily recognize the joy of watching an exquisite sunset, we forget too often that it is natural that its beauty changes, dims, and then disappears within moments. And this is true of many of our joy-filled experiences — they change, they dim, and often they disappear. Joy does not always stay with us, so we need to make the most of it when it is upon us — in a sunset, child’s hug, or a friend’s offered hand.
To live life to the fullest, I am open to those special moments of joy, even if they don’t last forever.
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One Day At A Time
February 13
ADMITTING MISTAKES
“A man should never be ashamed to own he has been in the wrong, which is but saying, in other words, that he is wiser today than he was yesterday.”
–Alexander Pope
Most of my life I had spent in blaming others for all the bad things that happened in my life, and I never learned to take responsibility for my part in anything. I thought that life had treated me unfairly, but mostly it was because someone else had wronged me. I wallowed in self pity and justifiable anger, and not surprisingly, I found comfort in food so I could get through the pain of being treated so badly by others.
When I came into the program and began working the steps, I was horrified to learn that I was expected to do a searching and fearless inventory of my wrongdoings, for after all wasn’t it others who had harmed me and not the other way around? Slowly I realised that I had a part to play in all the events in my life, and that only by clearing up the wreckage of my past and keeping my side of the street clean, did I have any hope of recovery. I had to swallow my pride and admit when I was wrong, and when I did that, miracles began to happen. Instead of feeling hard done by and bad about myself as I had thought I would, the exact opposite happened, and I started on a journey of growth and increasing self esteem that never ceases to surprise me. When I am able to admit that I’m wrong and apologise for my part in any conflict or misunderstanding, without expectation of anything back from the other person, I strengthen my recovery in this program.
One day at a time …
I will admit my mistakes whether I believe that the fault is mine or not, because that is the way that I grow in my recovery.
Sharon
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Elder’s Meditation of the Day
February 13
“I wanted to feel, smell, hear and see, but not see with my eyes and my mind only. I wanted to see with CANTE ISTA – the eye of the heart.”
–Lame Deer, LAKOTA
Why is it that some people seem to have peace of mind every day? How do some people remain so darn positive? How do you stay positive if you work or live in a negative environment? How is it that two people can observe the same difficult situation, but one person is upset about it, and other isn’t? Two people experiencing the same situation react entirely different. If each morning we ask the Creator to allow us to see with His understanding and with His love, we will open a new way of “seeing”. This eye of the heart is a free gift given to us if we ask for it in prayer each day.
Grandfather, allow me to see the world and all things You have made through “the eye of my heart.”
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Journey To The Heart
February 13
Don’t Let People Put Thoughts in Your Head
Respect the power of words and thoughts, both your own and others’.
Our ideas and inspirations sometimes come from other people, come from outside us. But if we’re not careful, it’s easy for others to put their ideas and intentions into our minds, to cast their spells on us. You aren’t very creative. Your heart isn’t open. You’re really not that healthy. You need me to succeed. You don’t deserve success. In fact, you don’t deserve… How easy it is to be unaware of the process, to walk around with other people’s words in your head, taking them as truth, taking them as our own, letting their ideas about us control our lives and our beliefs.
We don’t have to let others put their spells on us. We don’t have to believe what they say.
What are the words others have spoken to you, the spells they’ve cast on you and your life? What phrases are echoing in your mind, and who do they belong to? Listen to what you hear, and if they are not yours, get them out.
Words are powerful. Don’t let other people put them in your head. And choose carefully the words you speak to them.
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Today’s Gift
February 13
“Shall I give you a kiss?” Peter asked and, jerking an acorn button off his coat, solemnly presented it to her.
—James Barrie
If kisses can be made of acorn buttons, they can be made of any good thing. Think of kisses made of candy. Therefore, there must be a thousand and one ways to give a kiss. We can give one made of wild flowers picked in the ditch, the melody in a music box, the few true words in a note, or the picture we ourselves draw to give to the one we love. Think of how we can hide them here and there under pillows, in corners, in pockets where they’re sure to be seen and felt. Think of how hearts kiss when we hug or hold hands, how sleeping beauties suddenly wake up.
Does it matter that we try new ways to show our same old love?
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The Language of Letting Go
February 13
Trusting Ourselves
What a great gift we’ve been given – ourselves. To listen to ourselves, to trust instinct and intuition, is to pay tribute to that gift.
What a disservice not to heed the leadings and leanings that so naturally arise from within. When will we learn that these leadings and leanings draw us into God’s rich plan for us?
We will learn. We will learn by listening, trusting, and following through. What is it time to do?… What do I need to do to take care of myself? What am I being led to do? What do I know?
Listen, and we will know. Listen to the voice within.
Today, I will listen and trust. I will be helped to take action when that is needed. I can trust God and myself.
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More Language Of Letting Go
February 13
You’re not alone
I felt a searing pain in my heart. It was physical– I swear it was– when that nurse asked me if I had someone I could call. Over the next few days at the hospital, I was surrounded by people, but at no previous time in my life had I ever felt this isolated and alone. I knew that the path I was about to walk, I had to walk alone.
Larer, another nurse walked over to me. She looked straight into my eyes. “It’s going to be difficult, harder than you can imagine,” she said. “And it’ll take about eight years. But you can do it. You’ll come through. I know. I lost a child,too. My daughter was nine when she died.”
There are places in our lives that we’re called to go alone. People can surround us, call us, and offer support. But the journey we’re about to take is solely and uniquely ours. People can watch us, reach out to us, and even say they know how it feels. But the world we’re entering is ours, and ours alone.
Slowly, as we walk this path that life has thrust on us, we begin to see the outline of a few faces– way out in the distance, waving to us, cheering us on. As we continue along the path, the faces and forms fill in. Before long, we see that we’re in the midst of a large, large group. Where did all these people come from? we wonder. I thought I was alone.
No matter what path you’re on, others have walked it before you, and some will follow you there. Each step you take is uniquely yours, but you are never, never alone.
While many experiences are isolated and uniquely ours, we’re simultaneously part of a collective force. What we go through and what we do matters– sometimes much more than we know.
God, help me know how much you care. No matter what I’m going through, help me see the other faces along the way.
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Touchstones Meditations For Men
February 13
It is a cheap generosity, which promises the future in compensation for the present.
—J. A. Spender
Living in this moment is all we really have. We are constantly bombarded with advice to live for the future, but it perpetually exists beyond our grasp like the carrot tempting the donkey. We are told to be mindful of our career paths, to save for the future, and to sacrifice now for later rewards. We put off spending time with our children, but later they are no longer the same children. We postpone seeing friends now and discover later that we have lost our relationships.
Of course, we can’t be foolish about our future. We need to make some plans and delay some immediate pleasures. But for now, we can only have a rapport with others and ourselves and experience life in this moment. The present is the only time when anything can happen, any change can occur. This moment is like a fresh, cool breeze. The rest exists only in our imaginations or memories.
May I feel the exhilaration of being alive in this moment and maintain a balance in my perspective today.
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Daily TAO
February 13
STRETCHING
When young, things are soft.
When old, things are brittle.
Stretching — both literally and metaphorically — is a necessary part of life.
Physically, a good program of stretching emphasizes all parts of the body. You loosen the joints and tendons first, so that subsequent movements will not hurt. Then methodically stretch the body, beginning with the larger muscle groups such as the legs and back, and proceed to finer and smaller parts like the fingers. Coordinate stretching with breathing; use long and gentle stretches rather than bouncing ones. When you stretch in one direction, always be sure to stretch in the opposite direction as well. If you follow this procedure, your flexibility will undoubtedly increase.
Metaphorical stretching leads to expansion and flexibility in personal growth. A young plant is tender and pliant. An older is stiff, woody, and vulnerable to breaking. Softness is thus equated with life, hardness with death. The more flexible you are, the greater your mental and physical health.
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Food for Thought
February 13
Being Honest
During our compulsive overeating careers, many of us have been dishonest with others about what we were eating. Some of us have been closet eaters and some of us have stolen food. Most of us have eaten more when we were alone than when we were with other people.
We have almost surely been dishonest with ourselves, too. How many times have we promised ourselves to stick to a diet, only to find ourselves cheating a short time later? We tell ourselves that one small bite won’t make any difference, when deep down we know that we intend to eat many more bites than one.
When we take inventory, and as our insights are sharpened, we may discover other areas besides eating where we have not been honest with ourselves.
The OA program gives us a chance to practice rigorous honesty, especially with ourselves. The light from our Higher Power will gradually clear away our confusion and darkness.
May I not be afraid to know the truth.