Daily Reflections
April 23
A.A. IS NOT A CURE-ALL
It would be a product of false pride to claim that A.A. is a cure-all, even for alcoholism.
–AS BILL SEES IT, p. 285
In my early years of sobriety I was full of pride, thinking that A.A. was the only source of treatment for a good and happy life. It certainly was the basic ingredient for my sobriety and even today, with over twelve years in the program, I am very involved in meetings, sponsorship and service. During the first four years of my recovery, I found it necessary to seek professional help, since my emotional health was extremely poor. There are those folks too, who have found sobriety and happiness in other organizations. A.A. taught me that I had a choice: to go to any lengths to enhance my sobriety. A.A. may not be a cure-all for everything, but it is the center of my sober living.
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Twenty-Four Hours A Day
April 23
A.A. Thought For The Day
Men and women keep coming into A.A., licked by alcohol, often given up by doctors as hopeless cases, they themselves admitting they’re helpless to stop drinking. When I see these men and women get sober and stay sober over a period of months and years, I know that A.A. works. The change I see in people who come into A.A. not only convinces me that A.A. works, but it also convinces me that there must be a Power greater than ourselves which helps us to make that change. Am I convinced that a Higher Power can help me to change?
Meditation For The Day
Cooperation with God is the great necessity for our lives. All else follows naturally. Cooperation with God is the result of our consciousness of His presence. Guidance is bound to come to us as we live more and more with God, as our consciousness becomes more and more attuned to the great Consciousness of the universe. We must have many quiet times when we not so much ask to be shown and led by God, as to feel and realize His presence. New spiritual growth comes naturally from cooperation with God.
Prayer For The Day
I pray that God may supply me with strength and show me the direction in which He wants me to grow. I pray that these things may come naturally from my cooperation with Him.
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As Bill Sees It
April 23
No Personal Power, p. 114
“At first, the remedy for my personal difficulties seemed so obvious that I could not imagine any alcoholic turning the proposition down were it properly presented to him. Believing so firmly that Christ can do anything, I had the unconscious conceit to suppose that He would do everything through me–right then and in the manner I chose. After six long months, I had to admit that not a soul had surely laid hold of the Master–not excepting myself.
“This brought me to the good healthy realization that there were plenty of situations left in the world over which I had no personal power–that if I was so ready to admit that to be the case with alcohol, so I must make the same admission with respect to much else. I would have to be still and know that He, not I, was God.”
Letter, 1940
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Walk in Dry Places
April 23
When am I manipulative?
Personal relations.
Without understanding our motives, we can easily lapse into behavior aimed at manipulating others. Sulking is a means of letting others know we are displeased and forcing them to attempt to win our approval. Flattery is a false expression of approval that we don’t really feel…. Giving others good strokes for our own purpose. Withholding deserved praise is a means of putting others down, something we’re likely to do because of our jealousy.
Manipulative behavior is almost always selfish behavior. IT is usually a false means of trying to get our own way. It is certainly an immature way of dealing with people and situations.
The best way to avoid being manipulative is to be ourselves at all times. We have neither the right nor the responsibility to control or regulate other people. Our best approach, in trying to influence others’ actions, is simply to state our own case with sincerity and honest. Others must be free to act, free to choose, and free to make their own decisions without manipulative interference on our part.
I will be myself at all times today. I will not assume false roles simply for the purpose of bending others to my own will. Manipulative behavior is controlling behavior, which I must avoid.
The door to the human heart can only be opened from the INSIDE.
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Keep It Simple
April 23
When people talk, listen completely. Most people never listen.
-Ernest Hemingway
It’s hard to listen in a complete way. Often we listen, but we’re still thinking about ourselves. We wonder, “How do their words relate to me? Do I have anything to add?” Often, fear is behind these questions. We fear saying the wrong thing. We fear looking stupid. Good listeners know how to let go of their fears. To listen completely, we step outside ourselves, and we’re totally there for someone else. Sometimes we listen for only a few moments. Sometimes we don’t even agree with the people we’re listening to. But we let them know that they count. What a gift we give when we listen in a complete way!
Prayer for the Day: Higher Power, teach me to listen in a complete way. Teach me to step outside myself and be their for others.
Action for the Day: Today, I’ll listen to what the person says.
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Each Day a New Beginning
April 23
When you cease to make a contribution, you begin to die.
-Eleanor Roosevelt
We need to take note, today, of all the opportunities we have to offer a helping hand to another person. We can notice too, the many times a friend, or even a stranger, reaches out to us in a helpful way. The opportunities to contribute to life’s flow are unending.
Our own vibrancy comes from involvement with others, from contributing our talents, our hearts to one another’s daily travels. The program helps us to know that God lives in us, among us. When we close ourselves off from our friends, our fellow travelers, we block God’s path to us and through us.
To live means sharing one another’s space, dreams, sorrows, contributing our ears to hear, our eyes to see, our arms to hold, our hearts to love. When we close ourselves off from each other–we have destroyed the vital contribution we each need to make and to receive in order to nurture life.
We each need only what the other can give. Each person we meet today needs our special contribution.
What a wonderful collection of invitations awaits me today!
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Alcoholics Anonymous
April 23
LISTENING TO THE WIND
– It took an “angel” to introduce this Native American woman to A.A. and recovery.
My son called his grandparents, and they traveled to the mountains to visit us. I had not seen them for years. We got along much better than I expected. The relationship they formed with my son was incredible. My dad took his grandson hiking in the wilderness, and mom helped out with looking after him while I worked. My health continued to fail. My parents wound up moving to our town in an attempt to help their grandson and me.
p. 463
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Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions
April 23
Step Four – “Made a searching and fearless moral inventory of ourselves.”
Of course the depressive and the power-driver are personality extremes, types with which A.A. and the whole world abound. Often these personalities are just as sharply defined as the examples given. But just as often some of us will fit more or less into both classifications. Human beings are never quite alike, so each of us, when making an inventory, will need to determine what his individual character defects are. Having found the shoes that fit, he ought to step into them and walk with new confidence that he is at last on the right track.
p. 48
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Xtra Thoughts
April 23
All I have is today, this moment, now. I can spend this moment making it the best moment yet with fearlessness, trust, courage, confidence, faith and love or I can waste it with doubt, anxiety, worry, regret, anger, fear, distress and hurt. Knowing that whichever way I choose determines the experiences I will have, I choose to use the opportunity of each moment to live my life to the fullest, always choosing love.
–Carol A James
Those who enjoy the greatest lives are not extraordinary people, or even ordinary people with something added. They are not necessarily the wealthiest or most professionally acclaimed. Those who sparkle with aliveness are ordinary people with nothing taken away. They have not lost their wonder of the moment. They cherish the presence of a friend; they marvel when a child takes their hand. They find a gift in each moment of living.
–Mary Manin Morrissey
I choose to love others, as God would. This means no severe judging, no resentments, no malicious gossip, no destructive criticism.
–Sweety Zee
Creativity is so delicate a flower that praise tends to make it bloom, while discouragement often nips it in the bud. Any of us will put out more and better ideas if our efforts are appreciated.
–Alexander F. Osborn
Forgiveness is a not a gift we give to the other person, rather, God’s gift to us.
–Unknown
God goes ahead of us, preparing the way.
–Jean A Samples
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Father Leo’s Daily Meditation
April 23
DIVINITY
“To say that a man is made up of certain chemical elements is a satisfactory description only for those who intend to use him as a fertilizer.”
-Herbert J. Muller
Man is more than chemicals. Man is more than an animal. Man is a human being, carrying the image of God, the imprint of Divinity, the power of the creative God.
As an addict I doubted myself, only adding to my “powerlessness” and “unmanageability”. I internally said, “I can’t” before I tried. My low self-esteem was evident long before I took a drink. I was always trying to get my “outsides” to match what I imagined your “insides” to be like.
When I accepted my alcoholism I was able to discover God in my life. Today I am able to create through Him and in Him. Spirituality comes with the awareness of our God-given divinity.
May I never cease to see You in my life.
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Bible Scriptures
April 23
“Blessed is the man who endures trial, for when he has stood the test he will receive the crown of life which God has promised to those who love him.”
-James 1:12
Forgive us our trespasses as we forgive those who trespass against us.
-Matthew 6:12
“Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more important than food, and the body more important than clothes? Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they? Who of you by worrying can add a single hour to his life? “And why do you worry about clothes? See how the lilies of the field grow. They do not labor or spin. Yet I tell you that not even Solomon in all his splendor was dressed like one of these. If that is how God clothes the grass of the field, which is here today and tomorrow is thrown into the fire, will he not much more clothe you, O you of little faith? So do not worry, saying, ‘What shall we eat?’ or ‘What shall we drink?’ or ‘What shall we wear?’ For the pagans run after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them. But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well. Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.
-Matthew 6:25-34
Rejoice in the Lord always. I will say it again: Rejoice! Let your gentleness be evident to all. The Lord is near. Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus. Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable–if anything is excellent or praiseworthy–think about such things. Whatever you have learned or received or heard from me, or seen in me–put it into practice. And the God of peace will be with you.
-Philippians 4:4-9
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Daily Inspiration
April 23
We have the ability to influence those around us and therefore it is necessary to think of ourselves as the center of peace so that we may bring calm to those who need it. Lord, may I bring Your peace to everyone I am with today.
God promises His forgiveness to those who repent. Lord, I am sorry for all that I have done wrong this day and all the days of my life.
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A Day At A Time
April 23
Reflection For The Day
No matte what it is that seems to be our need or problem, we can find something to rejoice in, something for which to give thanks. It is not God who needs to be thanked, but we who need to be thankful. Thankfulness opens new doors to good in our life. Thankfulness creates a new heart and a new spirit in us. Do I keep myself aware of the many blessings that come to me each day and remember to be thankful for them?
Today I Pray
May God fill me with a spirit of thankfulness. When I express my thanks, however fumbling, to God or to another human being, I am not only being gracious to Him or that other person for helping me, but I am also giving myself the greatest reward of all — a thankful heart. May I not forget either the transitive “to thank,” directed at someone else, or the intransitive “giving thanks,” which fills my own great need.
Today I Will Remember
Thank and give thanks.
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One More Day
April 23
To everything there is a season, and a time to every purpose under the heaven.
– Ecclesiastics 3:1
All time and places in our lives have meaning and value. Regardless of what we have done in the past, whether we are proud or ashamed of our past actions, the only time over which we have any control is now. If we have no sense of direction in life, if we have no daily power or purpose, we may wander aimlessly through this new time in our lives, unaware of where we are going.
The reality of our lives is this: our health has changed. We are the only ones who can choose how to deal with this reality. We can wistfully look back to another time and place, or we can live in the here and now by making the best of a less than ideal situation. The choice is ours, but only the second choice provides our lives with meaning and purpose.
I won’t squander today by living in the past.
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One Day At A Time
April 23
~ BIRTHRIGHT ~
I’ve continued to recognize the power individuals have to change virtually anything and everything in their lives in an instant. I’ve learned that the resources we need to turn our dreams into reality are within us, merely waiting for the day when we decide to wake up and claim our birthright.
–Anthony Robbins
I have divine origins because I am part of my Higher Power. Whether I see my Higher Power as a male, female or neither; no matter if I experience my Higher Power as a Heavenly Parent, a Divine Friend, or a Great Spirit; whether I find my Higher Power in a temple, in the mountains, or in my child’s eyes … I am connected to something greater than myself, my problems, and my fears. The who, what, where, when, and how of my Higher Power are not important. I don’t have to completely understand HP because my HP understands me.
I have been endowed with all the things I need to be successful in recovery and in life. All I have to do is step up and claim them. I have intellect, I have emotion, and I have a spirit. All of those things have a direct line to my Higher Power. What I can’t yet access is given to me as a gift when I claim my divine birthright by simply saying, “I can’t. You can. I think I’ll let You.” What greater power is there than to give our power to our Higher Power? Knowing when I can’t do it alone is a gift!
One Day at a Time …
I will remember I come from royalty. I will remember my divine birthright and step up to claim it. Today I will not sell my divine birthright for a mess of pottage.
~ Sandee ~
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Elder’s Meditation of the Day
April 23
“The real meaning of life is your family, the love that you have, the respect, the traditional ways, carrying on with them.”
–Ethel Wilson, COWICHAN
The family is the seed of the future. The family is the key to the transfer of cultural information. We should really take a look at how we are looking at our families. Are we treating each family member with respect? Are we passing on the traditional ways? Are we teaching the old songs? Are we participating in the ceremonies? Are we showing the family members how to pray? Are we encouraging each family member to be spiritual? Think about these things today.
My Creator, today, let me show respect to each family member.
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Journey To The Heart
April 23
Give Yourself a Break
Learn to appreciate yourself and others.
Knowing we desire growth and improvement is one thing. Constantly driving ourselves and others is another. Maybe the answer isn’t that we need to do better, try harder, push more. Maybe the answer is recognizing and appreciating how well we already do things. How hard we try. How much we have done. How well others are doing,too.
Pushing ourselves can become so habitual that we deny ourselves any feeling of satisfaction. No matter how well or how much we do, the urge to try harder, do better, do more keeps pushing us on. It doesn’t let us rest. We still feel it isn’t quite good enough.
If you’ve been pushing yourself that hard, you may need more than a coffee break. Take a real break. Give yourself permission to put that drive aside. Quiet that part of you that wants to do more, be more, accomplish more. Learn to value how well you do things, even if no one else sees or appreciates your efforts. Applaud your own efforts and the efforts of those you love. For today and for one week, instead of demanding more from yourself, tell yourself how well you’ve done. For today and for one week, instead of demanding more from those around you, tell them that they are doing well,too.
Tell yourself how well you do. You may discover you’re doing better than you thought.
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Today’s Gift
April 23
Courage is resistance to fear, mastery of fear not absence of fear.
—Mark Twain
It is not unusual to feel afraid. It is unusual, however, to hear anyone admit to feeling afraid. Sometimes we think there are some people who are so cool and calm that they never feel afraid. This may make us think we’re not as good because we know how often we feel afraid. This is why it is important to think about what courage really is. It is not the absence of fear. Courage is not letting fear stop us from doing what we need to do.
We might have to get up in front of a group to give a speech. We could give in to our fear and not give the speech, or we could admit our fear to those who love us, and then go ahead and do the best we can. To go ahead in the face of fear is courage.
What am I afraid of?
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The Language of Letting Go
April 23
Opening Ourselves to Love
Allowing ourselves to receive love is one of the greatest challenges we face in recovery.
Many of us have blocked ourselves from receiving love. We may have lived with people who used love to control us. They would be there for us, but at the high price of our freedom. Love was given, or withheld, to control us and have power over us. It was not safe for us to receive love from these people. We may have gotten accustomed to not receiving love, not acknowledging our need for love, because we lived with people who had no real love to give.
At some point in recovery, we acknowledge that we, too, want and need to be loved. We may feel awkward with this need. Where do we go with it? What do we do? Who can give us love? How can we determine who is safe and who isn’t? How can we let others care for us without feeling trapped, abused, frightened, and unable to care for ourselves?
We will learn. The starting point is surrendering to our desire to be loved, our need to be nurtured and loved. We will grow confident in our ability to take care of ourselves with people. We will feel safe enough to let people care for us; we will grow to trust our ability to choose people who are safe and who can give us love.
We may need to get angry first – angry that our needs have not been met. Later, we can become grateful to those people who have shown us what we don’t want, the ones who have assisted us in the process of believing we deserve love, and the ones who come into our life to love us.
We are opening up like flowers. Sometimes it hurts as the petals push open. Be glad. Our heart is opening up to the love that is and will continue to be there for us.
Surrender to the love that is there for us, to the love that people, the Universe, and our Higher Power send our way.
Surrender to love, without allowing people to control us or keep us from caring for ourselves. Start by surrendering to love for yourself.
Today, I will open myself to the love that is here for me. I will let myself receive love that is safe, knowing I can take care of myself with people. I will be grateful to all the people from my past who have assisted me in my process of opening up to love. I claim, accept, and am grateful for the love that is coming to me.
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More Language Of Letting Go
April 23
Say what your intentions are
Have you ever done anything deliberately to hurt someone, to get even with that person, or to gain revenge? Have you ever done anything subconsciously with intentions that weren’t noble?
“I dated a woman for three months,” Kent said. “It took me that long to realize that I was simply getting even with my last girlfriend, who had broken up with me. I used this woman as a tool for revenge and a way to get even with my ex. I felt horrible when I realized what I had done. But when I looked more deeply, I saw that my relationships were a series of attempts at getting revenge and retribution. I never took time out to feel and clear my anger from the last relationship that hadn’t worked.
Intentions are a powerful force. They combine desire, emotion, and will. They’re stronger and more powerful than wishes or simple desires. They can be a profound force in our lives and in the lives of people we touch.
Take a moment before entering a situation. Examine what your true intentions are. Do you have a motive, an agenda, a strong expectation involved? Have you been as clear as possible with yourself, and with whomever else is involved, about what you really expect and want? Or are you operating with a hidden agenda, hoping that if you force your will long enough, you’ll get your way?
Ask God to show you the intentions of the people you’re involved with. Sometimes they don’t know, themselves. Sometimes they do, but they’re not telling you. In those circumstances, you’re being set up for a manipulation and possibly some pain.
Be clear on your intentions. And stay as clear as possible on what other people want from you.
God, bring to light my intentions and motives, and the intentions and motives of those with whom I interact.
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Touchstones Meditations For Men
April 23
Friendship with oneself is all-important, because without it one cannot be friends with anyone else in the world.
—Eleanor Roosevelt
In recovery, perhaps first we make peace with ourselves, and not until later do we become our own friends. We have been at war with ourselves and in turmoil with our families, even while feeling like victims. This program lays out Twelve Steps we can follow to become friends with ourselves. In recovery we may still feel self-hate when we constantly monitor our every action, when we react to our mistakes by berating ourselves, and when we dwell on past offenses. Would we put a friend through that?
A true friend will accept you as you are. He doesn’t put you down or call you derogatory names. He’ll give you honest feedback and won’t put on a false front. He’ll support you when you’re in trouble. Being our own friend means doing these things for ourselves. Perhaps we can even embrace and be kind to the part of ourselves that is addicted and codependent.
Today, I will be a friend to my whole self – even the parts of me I have rejected.
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Daily TAO
April 23
ACCEPTANCE
Drought burns basins to dust,
Light rain is a dew of mockery.
Receive without complaint,
Work with fate.
When the countryside is gripped in drought, it is useless to complain. Even when light rains fail to moisten the parched landscape, we should accept what happens. This is the way of Tao, and one who follows Tao accepts what comes.
We may have ambitions to move in one direction, but Tao will decide otherwise. We may have plans for the future, but Tao will bend time differently. There are those who will cry out in anger and frustration, but the follower of Tao remains silent and goes about the business of preparation.
Acceptance does not mean fatalism. It does not mean capitulation to some slaughtering predestination. Those who follow Tao do not believe in being helpless. They believe in acting within the framework of circumstance. For example, in a drought, they will prepare by storing what water is available. That is sensible action. They will not plant a garden of flowers that requires a great deal of water. That is ignorance and egotism.
Acceptance is a dynamic act. It should not signal inertness, stagnation, or inactivity. One should simply ascertain what the situation requires and then implement what one thinks is best. As long as one’s deeds are in accord with the time and one leaves no sloppy traces, then the action is correct.
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Daily Zen
April 23
Skinny leg, white plumage, the old egret,
Flew before me, now among
Plum-blossomed boughs.
Great river, floating sky, moon’s white connections.
The little boat tied to a tree, breeze in silken strands.
Where there are mountains, I gaze from my window;
When there’s no rain, I mount and ride my horse.
Country travel ten full days,
I’ve had a taste of freedom.
Petty official, school teacher, no more,
Stealing time, to chant these lines.
– Yuan Mei (1716-1798)
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Food for Thought
April 23
Wisdom
The longer we live this Twelve Step program, the more we realize that we do not have all the answers. Our finite knowledge is very limited, and we need all the help we can get.
Acknowledging our limitations and our powerlessness is the beginning of wisdom. Conceding that we cannot manage our own lives puts us in a position whereby we may humbly ask for the wisdom that comes from our Higher Power.
If we are to grow in wisdom and learn which things to accept and which to change, we need to conscientiously devote time each day to the OA program. We need to read and re-read the literature. We need to examine our motives and our deeds. We need to act according to the promptings of our Higher Power.
Wisdom is not acquired overnight. The more patient we are and the more humble, the better able we are to learn from the mistakes we make.
May I stay close to You, the source of wisdom.
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In God’s Care
April 23
An ounce of action is worth a ton of theory.
~~Friedrich Engels
Overplanning, overthinking, and too much talking often hinder the actions that can bring real growth. We know this, and yet we still get trapped, usually by our fears that we’ll not proceed perfectly.
Life is the process of making progress. We learn by doing, not just by thinking. We can make our forward steps more easily when we ask God to share the journey, but we have to put one foot in front of the other. And that usually leads us to someone else in need.
How many times have we felt stuck or depressed or obsessively fearful, only to discover our head clearing and our heart calming when we got out of the house, out of ourselves, and focused on someone else?
Helpful actions energize us and give us hope. They connect us to our Higher Power and make all the difference in our daily spiritual progress.
I will not sit and obsess today. I’ll go out and find someone in need.
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Faith’s Check Book
April 23
No Fear of Death
He that hath an ear, let him hear what the Spirit saith unto the churches; he that overcometh shall not be hurt of the second death.
-Revelation 2:11
The first death we must endure unless the Lord should suddenly come to His temple. For this let us abide in readiness, awaiting it without fear, since Jesus has transformed death from a dreary cavern into a passage leading to glory.
The thing to be feared is not the first but the second death, not the parting of the soul from the body but the final separation of the entire man from God. This is death indeed. This death kills all peace, joy, happiness, hope. When God is gone, all is gone. Such a death is far worse than ceasing to be: it is existence without the life which makes existence worth the having.
Now, if by God’s grace we fight on to the end and conquer in the glorious war, no second death can lay its chill finger upon us, We shall have no fear of death and hell, for we shall receive a crown of life which fadeth not away. How this nerves us for the fight! Eternal life is worth a life’s battle. To escape the hurt of the second death is a thing worth struggling for throughout a lifetime.
Lord, give us faith so that we may overcome, and then grant us grace to remain unharmed though sin and Satan dog our heels!
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This Morning’s Meditation
April 23
“Nay, in all these things we are more than conquerors through Him that loved us.”
-Romans 8:37
WE go to Christ for forgiveness, and then too often look to the law for power to fight our sins. Paul thus rebukes us, “O foolish Galatians, who hath bewitched you, that ye should not obey the truth? This only would I learn of you, Received ye the Spirit by the works of the law, or by the hearing of faith? are ye so foolish? having begun in the Spirit, are ye now made perfect by the flesh?” Take your sins to Christ’s cross, for the old man can only be crucified there: we are crucified with Him. The only weapon to fight sin with is the spear which pierced the side of Jesus. To give an illustration—you want to overcome an angry temper, how do you go to work? It is very possible you have never tried the right way of going to Jesus with it. How did I get salvation? I came to Jesus just as I was, and I trusted Him to save me. I must kill my angry temper in the same way? It is the only way in which I can ever kill it. I must go to the cross with it, and say to Jesus, “Lord, I trust Thee to deliver me from it.” This is the only way to give it a death-blow. Are you covetous? Do you feel the world entangle you? You may struggle against this evil so long as you please, but if it be your besetting sin, you will never be delivered from it in any way but by the blood of Jesus. Take it to Christ. Tell Him, “Lord, I have trusted Thee, and Thy name is Jesus, for Thou dost save Thy people from their sins; Lord, this is one of my sins; save me from it!” Ordinances are nothing without Christ as a means of mortification. Your prayers, and your repentances, and your tears—the whole of them put together—are worth nothing apart from Him. “None but Jesus can do helpless sinners good;” or helpless saints either. You must be conquerors through Him who hath loved you, if conquerors at all. Our laurels must grow among His olives in Gethsemane.